Jun's Life

Microinsurance

2011-08-04T22:13:00.001+08:00

I should have posted this a long long time ago. It is an assignment that I did for my Insurance Practice a year ago. Thanks a lot to Vincent Goh for participating, helping and listening to my whining throughout the assignment (and in uni). I was thinking that it is best to post it and put it up here.

Some people had already claimed credit for this, I might as well do it since I wrote most of the things here. And I am really proud of this.

The microinsurance industry is still a blue ocean industry in Malaysia. Microinsurance preserves the essence of the conventional insurance where premiums paid to the insurer and claims are paid to the policyholders. Similar risks are insured and pooled to reduce the variability of the claim and to increase certainty of the payout.
Most of the conventional insurance targeted by market is the lower income groups. These groups do not know much about the importance of such products and some even perceive that such financially sophisticated products only cater for the rich. Unfortunately, these groups of people are usually exposed to the higher risks compare to the others. The net worth of the policyholders is low, although they are not uniformly poor. Even though demand for such policies would be generally low but we can raise awareness about microinsurance, by educate the public and publicize the product heavily. This can be done by the microinsurance distributor themselves or through joint efforts with CBOs (community based organization), government, NGO (non- government organization), charity organizations, etc.
In Malaysia, there are banks (e.g. Bank Buruh, Bank Pertanian, Bank Perindustrian) and government agencies (e.g. FELDA, LKIM etc) with aims to provide financial assistance to a specific population. However, no insurance of any kind is provided. Majority of the population in need of assistance are the sole breadwinners of the family and their spouse are not specially skilled or trained in any way. In the case of death or disability, the whole family would lose their main source of income.
SOCSO (Social Security Organisation)offers a pension of up to 90%to the dependant or the employee in case of death or disability. Generally, every employed Malaysian is covered under SOCSO, unless the starting pay of the employer is above RM3000 and he/she chooses not be covered by SOCSO.
There might be competitions from other firms as well such as Alliance and AIG who are the pioneer commercial microinsurers in the world. They have plenty of knowledge from their microinsurance products launched in other countries. Since the government has even expressed its support to the industry in the previous budget, the government might also monopolize the microinsurance industry and offer it by themselves if it proves to be viable.
The conventional microinsurance products sold overseas covers crop, property, medical, life, health and disability. The most popular insurance in Africa is the credit life insurance which repays the outstanding balance of the policyholder’s debt in case of death.
The language of the product should be simple to understand and clear. Products and policies should be simple and be phrased in a simple manner. Microinsurance products offered should be of loose underwriting and minimal exclusion. The conventional insurance includes many exclusions and often strict underwriting to reduce claims paid and exposure to risks. In microinsurance, exclusions proved to be costly. Madison Insurance offered a basic life insurance with HIV/AIDS exclusion. The insurance company then removed the exclusion because it was more costly to determine whether cause of death is related to AIDS. The company finds the products to be profitable even when the exclusion is removed.
Payments of policies must be made in the most simple, convenient yet cost effective approach. The sale of flood insurance with credit card sized policies sold in Indonesia allows the claims to be paid to cardholders if water levels were to reach to a given level. Sale of insurance policies via internet and hand phones to reduce costs and increase outreach of policyholders proves to be highly effective.
It is hard to write and maintain a profitable microinsurance product. Expenses have to be kept to the bare minimal for fear that it would be more than the premiums. Plus, microinsurance scheme are often offered by community based organization and even non government organization (NGO). There is a high covariate risk for such products. The main reasons that the microinsurance is not popular among commercial insurers are:
a)    Difficulty in writing and maintaining a profitable microinsurance
b)    High covariate risks in microinsurance scheme
c)    Low premiums
d)    Adverse selection, fraud and high moral hazards
Report
The microinsurance can be launched with the help of government bodies, NGOs and CBOs. They would have greater access and trust with this population. Lower costs will be needed as the sale and collection of premium can be collected by them. The microinsurance is still fairly new and there are not many regulations relating to it yet. Since the government has already given its support for microinsurance verbally, tax rebates and benefits may be provided for our company and also consumers of the product.
Most Malaysians do not know the existence and importance of microinsurance. Without proper advertising and marketing strategy, demand for our product would be extremely scarce. The demand of microinsurance is hard to be estimated because it is a relatively new industry in Malaysia. If we were to cooperate with the government agencies, NGOs or CBOs and secure a contract with them, it would benefit our company in the long run. The government might grant a monopoly license to us if we prove to be competent. Since NGOs and CBOs have data and access to the targeted population, advertising can be kept to the minimal. The CBOs and NGOs might consider offering it by their own, but they do not have the manpower and professionals to do so. It would be costly and it would take a longer time before the CBOs and NGOs would be able to launch the product. Thus, it would be more effective if they just serve as the delivery channel. In the case of a claim, the delivery channels can help them to make the claim.
In case we cannot secure a contract with the government agencies, bodies or CBOs, we can just sell this product to the general public. Advertising costs should be kept to a minimal where we will advertise with the newspaper. Our selling point would be that the SOCSO coverage only provides a death benefit or disability a pension of up to 90%in case of death or disability during employment. The microinsurance would be able to provide a lump sum in case of such occurrence. A lower premium would be required as compared to conventional insurance. The application forms would be available in public places, convenience stores and also in the newspaper. Those who are interested can just fill up the form with their particular details and our telemarketing team will follow up with the applications. Then, we do not have to pay commissions to the agents and pass the savings to the policyholders.
Collection of premiums can be done by the delivery channels, internet banking or mobile banking (m-banking). Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission statistics suggested at the first quarter of the year that each Malaysian owns at least one cellphone. Currently, Maybank and Maxis offers m-banking services to their customers. Payments of premium can be done from anywhere with cellphone coverage. Billing of the premium should be avoided to keep costs low.
The benefits included should cover life, accelerated death benefits, terminal illnesses, critical illnesses and disability. The critical illnesses and terminal illnesses benefit, which is provided as a rider, can be reduced to a fairly small amount. The Malaysia government has provided excellent and cheap medical attention and hospitalization. These coverage aims merely to provide for the living expenses for the family of the policyholder in case of any said events were to take place. The death benefit provided should be enough to provide for the funeral expenses and the living expenses of the deceased for a period of time. Since the rider does not cost much, low premium will be needed to provide such benefits. This will serve as additional features to the product with only insignificant cost incurred. The only exclusion would be that the disability or death is not self inflicted. As per our current insurance practice, the policy will only cover for death and TPD that happen after the insurance is in forced.
Since the Malaysia population consists of 60.4% of Muslims, the product offered should be of Takaful compliance to appeal to the majority. Payments of the level premium should be done until occurrence of death. The insurance will cover until the policyholder reaches the age of 70. They would then be given an option to convert the microinsurance into a conventional 10 year term insurance without evidence of insurability. The premium will be higher as compared to the existing premiums and the level of sum assured can be increased by the policyholder subject to a maximum capping. Since we have a business relationship with them for the past few decades, they might want to extent their insurance and also increase the sum assured if their wealth has increased.
Underwriting procedures should be fairly loose to keep the costs low. However, our risk is controlled by pre-designed questionnaire, ADLs methods and a limiting age for new policyholders (eg. 45 years old). The above methods are used to mitigate the adverse risk and exposure risk. Exclusion for self-inflicted death and TPD would keep our risks of moral hazards and covariate risk low. Since we do not cover crops risks of moral hazards and covariate risks are fairly low. The coverage should be offered to everyone in the particular industry, as long as they pay their premiums. However, there should be a limiting age for new policyholders (eg. 45 years old) to limit the exposure of risk. It is rather risky for the company to cover the death of policyholders without exclusion of any kind. But it would be extremely costly for the company to include the inclusion. If the product is offered to the general public, adverse selection might take place.
Microinsurance products is not very appealing because they might not be able to generate as fast and as much profit than the conventional insurance. However, it can be seen as a form of free advertisement for our company. Although microinsurance is just another form of business, it seems to be “charitable” in the eyes of the public. While performing our social responsibilities, we are creating awareness among the population regarding the need and existence of such products for the lower income group. If we managed to work and form a bond with government, we might have more opportunities to work with the government in the future. Most of our customers are generally from the lower income group, but we are building a relationship with customers whose wealth is generally increasing.

Reference:
·    Bueno, M. (2010, April 27). Microinsurance: The Ugly Duckling in Financial Services to the Poor | Blog | NextBillion.net | Development through Enterprise. NextBillion.net | Development through Enterprise. Retrieved July 29, 2010, from http://www.nextbillion.net/blog/microinsurance-the-ugly-duckling-in-financial-services-to-the-po
·    Gray, A. (2010, June 16). Small Premiums, Long Term Benefits: Why Poor Women Need Microinsurance | Blog | NextBillion.net | Development through Enterprise. NextBillion.net | Development through Enterprise. Retrieved July 20, 2010, from http://www.nextbillion.net/blog/2010/06/16/the-benefits-of-microinsurance-for-low-income-women Gray, A. (2010, June 16). Small Premiums, Long Term Benefits: Why Poor Women Need Microinsurance | Blog | NextBillion.net | Development through Enterprise. NextBillion.net | Development through Enterprise. Retrieved July 20, 2010, from http://www.nextbillion.net/blog/2010/06/16/the-benefits-of-microinsurance-for-low-income-women
·    New Straits Time. "At least one cell phone for every Malaysian." Asiaone. New Straits Time, 19 Nov. 2009. Web. 22 July 2010, from http://digital.asiaone.com/Digital/News/Story/A1Story20091119-180891.html
·    Ng, R. K., Low, Y. T., Tay, S. L., & Yong, H. N. (2008, June 26). The World of E-Commerce: Mobile Payment Systems in Malaysia: Its Potentials and Consumers' Adoption Strategies. The World of E-Commerce. Retrieved July 29, 2010, from http://eclyns-ec-ec.blogspot.com/2008/06/mobile-payment-systems-in-malaysia-its.html
·    Islam percentage muslim (most recent) by country. (n.d.). NationMaster - World Statistics, Country Comparisons. Retrieved July 29, 2010, from http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/rel_isl_per_mus-religion-islam-percentage-muslim

Another Insomnia Night

2011-07-31T03:02:00.001+08:00

I am supposed to be sleeping now. Really. I should be exhausted after running around for the whole day now. But, there are some things that are keeping me up now. Everything was fine until a few days ago. Well, not techinically.Last few months has been a roller coaster ride for me, but things has been looking up, right until last Friday.

Let’s take a recap for the past few months first. Firstly, I finished school, thank god. Plenty of hard work and I had over gone some major changes, both physically and mentally. I am thankful for the person that I have became, especially with the set of thinking skills that I have been equipped with. For now, I believe that that is my most valuable asset and it can take me anywhere.

First, I had to breakup with someone. Yeah, yeah, it was horrible, I was in love and I had to pull off the plug. Horrible, I jumped right into it, then within a few months, I had to take knife and stab it into my very heart. But, I survived it. I fully recovered in two months, I did not let myself rot at home. I took myself out, dressed out nicely, went out for meals, movies, spas, facial, etc. I am thankful of the breakup because in the end, I ended up:

cutting my hair shorter
dyed my hair into a bright shade of orangey red
started reorganising my life properly, giving serious thought about what I want in life
grew older by 3-5 years mentally
realising that I could wear shorter skirts, thanks to the breakup, I lose weight and joined the gym
became a fan of the Bikram hot yoga
learning how to express how I feel to people and also displaying emotions (eg. anger)
learning how to scold people, even strangers, in the past I
reading a whole load of books
watching a whole load of movies and series

Enough about that, it was a good and expensive lesson, and I have to consider adoption or sperm donor since I will probably die before I get married. I do not want to be left heirless, so I guess those are the options for me.

Just when I was recovering from my wounds, I had to go through a jobless stint. That was when I realise what kind of person I was. When I broke off my relationship, I immediately downed my drinks at Zouk at the very next second and started engaging in the next conversation about where to go shopping the next day. In fact, it was during study week, but I could still concentrate on my studies. There was still a little bit of crying going on, but I seem normal on the outside. But, when my job offer was suddenly rescinded(there was a headcount issue and my ex boss could not hire me at the moment, it was not his fault), I wailed, “Why?!?”. I am pretty sure the neighbours heard me and I was screaming at my mother like I was 6 again.

That was when I realise what my priorities are in life. I will probably become a career oriented cow who spends most of her time replying work emails at family dinners. But, I guess if this is the path that I would like to pursue. It will lead to financial independence which is the thing that I value most. I did not realise this until I read the book, Rich Woman, written by Kim Kiyosaki (wife of the famous author, Robert Kiyosaki, who wrote Rich Dad, Poor Dad). The main reason for financial independence is not because I do not like being told what to do. Sure, it is safe to hold on to a secure job, but I would like to be given the choice to not be afraid of losing it. Or for other women, the fear of losing financial support in the case that their spouses leaves them or dies suddenly.

I have been going through a lot of change, mentally and hopefully I will have the time and patience to put them into words soon. Last but not least, I have never been one to quote stars but I really can relate to this.

"Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore." - Lady Gaga

I am still not tired but this is really not productive, I am wasting my precious sleeping time. My beloved friend, Beer, can hopefully help me drift into sleep. Good night (hopefully).

Confession of My Meaningless Life

2011-05-17T21:06:00.000+08:00

You know what is my number one interest? Of course my friends know. My number one interest interest involves making plans and spending time with people. Really, because I am lonely person with no other ongoing activitites in my life. When I am alone, I sit there and cry alone because my life is empty. Whenever you guys are busy and reject my plans because of your other engagements, I get really happy and excited because I get to make new plans and chase you around. If however, I am busy, I'm only making up stories because I have no reason to be busy. And you get to use this on me to the end of time. i get really sad when you tell other people about us not spending enough time together. Normally, I would have to cry myself to sleep for a week to get it out of my system.

Another reason that I like spending time with people is that I like them borrowing money from me. Then, I would get the thrill of not having enough money for myself to the extent that I have to withdraw my fd prematurely. I would get a really good feeling of myself where I feel that I am being appreciated and needed by others. My life is really that meaningless especially school has ended. I am unemployed, single with no commitment, I need constant validation and praises by people so that I think that I am doing something in my life.

Thank you very much to every single person whp has contributed to this post. Otherwise, I would not even have anything to write about my empty life. That is why my blog has been inactive for so long. From now on, I am not going see these few people for at least the next two months. When I see them, I get so sad because I feel that my life is empty.

To those who terasa, it is fine, you do not need to send me an email or sms to apologize, I am afraid that I might waste your precious time or energy. I am sure you have a very good reason. Really. We are friends, of course you will not lie to me. Just like everyone is good, that is why all the jails are empty and people who feels guilty voluntarily wants to be locked up. If you really want to, miss call me! Then, I will get this sudden high because i dunno what to expect from you. Plus, you get to save money. Or we can meet at the park when it is raining heavily. Then we can talk in the gazebo and you can start asking if this post refers to you where you get really mad and storm into the rain. Thank you very much for being my friends. Otherwise, I would not know experience any form of emotion, exposure to the rain or any event in my mundane life.

Yeah, Jun is a silly girl, just send me a text and I will be more than grateful to be friends with you again. If you need money, just give me your account number, even if it is in the middle of the night, I will run to the bank immediately for fear that it would trouble you in anyway.

Labels and Definitions

2011-02-01T20:20:00.001+08:00

I am back in JB again! Flew back from KL last night. I just started my last and final semester on the 18th and I am home again. School is pretty fine, I am studying, shopping and keeping to myself and my close circle. It is pretty hectic, maybe because I am going out too much with a certain woman. Anyone from uni with half a brain would probably know who I am referring to. From karaoke, hair straightening, hair dyeing, stalking, movie watching to shopping, we have done it all in January. It is the last semester of school, better enjoy life as a student to the max.

I saw some great news on TV last night. Henry Cavill, who plays the Duke of Suffolk aka Charles Brandon is going to be the next Superman. I have no idea that I knew the full name of his character, not to mention the title that he bore. God. I guess that I do have a crush on him. And he is only 26. He does not know it yet, but he is going to marry me one day.

When I was watching the first season of The Tudors, I did not even notice him, really. I was concentrating on Jonathan Rhys Meyer aka the king every move that I thought that this guy is just some guys that tag along with the king.

At the end of the third season, I was confused about who to like more. And its not like I have to make a choice anyway.

What’s new with me? I am tired, I really am. Not just physically but mentally. I have put on like 2 kgs this two months because something is bugging me. Some of you would realise that I talk less and less about myself. I seem normal if I am just talking about stuff that are unrelated to me, but most of the time, I do not even want to talk about anything. I have bought plenty of new things this month but I am too malas to take pictures of them. Let me just list down what I remember,

black Topshop coat
blue Joy & Peace peep toes
white spy-like dress from Crochet. Those kind that Angelina Jolie would wear in The Tourist. The only problem right now is to find somewhere to wear it to. I could wear it to uni but people would probably stare at me, in a bad way. I think I will just ask Yi Wen to meet with me at a secret spot in where I pass her a big envelope of stuff. It is rather flowy and the bottom pops up like a cupcake. Too bad the model’s hands is covering that part.
some shirts from Zara
another black coat with flowery details
new Gap jeans, which I am very very happy with
Picture above for illustration purpose only, author looks nothing like that in the jeans. Maybe similar but not the same.
a set of lingerie from Valisere, I decided to have a major splurge the other day because I was feeling very down. No, I am not posting the pictures here because in Malaysia, such pictures cannot be posted in print
a pair of white Fiborucci platform heels that I can run around in uni, very handy when stalking or running away from stalkers

I think I bought many other things but I forgotten about them. Too bad I din take pictures of them when I was in KL.

And I have straighten my hair and it is now slightly shorter by like 2 inches from my normal length. It is just past my shoulders. Someone told me that I look like 15 year old. Great news if I want to start wearing my pinafore again. I think I want to curl it soon, think it is a little too straight.

My favourite new phrase has even become, “I don’t want to talk about it.” In the past, I used to talk. A lot. You can ask my form five history teacher and he4 will probably tell you that she really hates me because I am talking away for the whole hour of her class. Because I believe that talking about and discussing about it would actually lead to a solution or a way to resolve the issue. But now, I have some stuff that I cannot solve. If I talk about it, I would just end up making myself more miserable for whining about it and people around me would end up boycotting me for my excessive whining. So, I end up eating, looking into the space, kicking the wall or doing something that would take my mind off momentarily.

Why is it that people always try to label or define things? Yes, I am guilty of it. Which explains why I ask plenty of questions all the time. “How is the weather?”, “How are you?”, “What is this?”, “Are you bored?” and so on. In the real world, there are many grey areas that is hard to classify as white or black. Assuming that only students that get 90 marks and above are smart students. I get 89 marks, I am dumb? How was your day? I went on a shopping spree, found RM200 on the floor but ended getting beaten up on the way home. I have learnt that maybe rather than asking questions, we should just let things be. Knowing too much may not necessarily be a good thing.

I have also developed a severe skin allergy towards the word marriage. Just the mention of it would cause red spots to form on my skin, which would take about two hours before it actually goes off. Whenever I tell people that I do not want to get married, people just do not believe me. My beloved sister has make it a point to chant “marriage” to me until I starts scratching my brains out.

If anyone there feels that they have this undying tendency to match make me, please do introduce a suitable man to me who wants to get married with by the end of the year. Really, please do that. Because I learnt from The Tudors, that a woman’s greatest honour can be achieved by bearing a son. Other than that, I would have no other purpose in life.

I should not have mention that I am going to marry Henry Cavill, my allergy’s back again. XOXO and happy holidays.

New Year and Uncertainties

2011-01-10T20:08:00.001+08:00

Happy new year 2011! Let’s go on with the new year resolution first:

buy only things that I really want, not just things that I want
become more disciplined and organised
have a fixed sleeping routine
pretend to be more sociable
talk less, laugh softer
treat the people close to me better and treat people that I do not know/like less better
diet

My internship of 3 months has come to an end on 31st December 2010. I should have came back to JB immediately since I have not been back since my internship started. Instead, I stayed back to:

do my CNY shopping
resolving my issues- which I will rant about later
spending some time with Yi Wen
stalking a certain cute guy in KL

The past few days I have been spending Yi Wen is really fun, we went for movies (laughing loudly is fine, since nobody goes to the cinemas on weekdays), excessive shopping, karaoke, gossiping, long pillow talks among other things. I have bought almost everything for the new semester. I bought two new coats, a new pair of Gap jeans, a few pairs of shoes (seriously, I have bought like 4 pairs this two months, I have lost count, actually) and some new top from Zara. The Zara sale is really great and it will be for the entire month of January. Think I will get a few more tops there when I get back to KL.

I have only been back for like 4 days but my sister tells me that I behave like Squidward a lot.

Maybe just around her or people who try to touch me, sure will kena shouted by me. And also because she tells me crap like stuff all the time, this is what she told me today,

‘'I get hungry before period, and after period, which is practically all the time.“

I am going to use this phrase against her to the end of time.

Since it will be my last semester this mid January, I am going to dress nicely and enjoy myself in uni. I am not going to waste it by spending time with people that I do not like.

So what else have I been doing lately? I have been busy liking someone a lot and crying. Yeah, I should really list that into my interests on facebook. If you like someone openly, no stalking will be required anymore. Hmmm. I dunno if that is a good thing, or a bad thing. I have realised something else recently. After what happened to my dad, I have shut myself emotionally. I tell people that I go clubbing, shopping and portray a clubbing queen image (if there is such a thing). Some told me that I have became unapproachable. But for me, what is important is me, myself and I. Plus, the clubbing look is great. I like those clothes anyway. For the past two years, I have been spending my time on things like shopping, studying and become emotionally shallow to avoid myself from getting hurt by others. People hear me saying that I have a new crush here and there, but it was merely to feel a sudden high or rush only. Miserable (I know), but it has worked extremely well. It makes it harder for people to get close to me, and I have a very selected group of friends.

I just realised that the last time I like someone this much was eight years ago. When I was bodoh. What does this means? I am bodoh now. People who are close to me would know that I do not trust people easily. Whether it is just to do a simple thing or trust someone with my family heirloom, it would be impossible for me to do so. If I have to trust my heart, I would definitely choose to kill myself, if I have the option. I have been working hard to achieve all the materialistic things that I want. Taking external papers, forsaking semester breaks. Until now. ~~Bullshit.~~

How do I react to the change? I am reacting in a very good way. I pray.

I pray that the guy does not like me back so that nothing will happen.

Then, I pray again.

I pray that he is married/attached so that we cannot be together and that would be dramatic and most importantly, it is not my fault. Then, I pray for stuff to happen to me, maybe I will die on my way to work, or in the bus on my way back, because, then again, it will not be my fault anymore. My subconscious mind is extremely powerful, to the extend that it took me like a while to understand why I was reacting in certain ways. Imagine I was walking into a bus so that I have less things to deal with. For those of you who thinks that I am deep in my thoughts should steer clear from me, you might get killed in the process. Maybe I should list praying as my new interest.

Life is less fun without stalking. If you like someone secretly, you can:

stalk him on fb
stalk him physically
bump into him accidentally at his workplace/school/condo
accidentally call/sms him because his name and your friend is very similar (for eg. Daniel and Danielle)

Enough about liking that someone. Why I am so brave to post it here? I know for a fact that he is not free lately, he would definitely not read my blog for the next few weeks/months.

Lately, life has been extremely uncertain. It is like I have lost my footing, nothing is for sure anymore. If you have talked to me about half a year ago, I can tell you exactly what I want for the 3-5 years. Graduate, go shopping, laugh loudly, simple men chasing, continue having commitment issues, diet, continue taking my external paper, laugh at people with relationships, work hard to get all the things I want by 25 and go shopping. After my internship, I do not know what line I want to go into, what I am going to do when I graduate. God. I feel like a 21 year old now. I used to be in charge of what I think/feel/want.

Anyway, this is just a silly rant. I will probably update my blog again this few days since I have plenty more to rant. But people has been telling me that I am much happier compared to three months ago. Maybe I am just thinking too much. The guy will probably call me a psycho ( again) if he reads this blog entry.

I will update my summary of 2010 this few days. Till then, XOXO.

Things I Learnt This Few Months

2010-12-12T21:23:00.001+08:00

This is a joke that my mom has told me ever since I was like 10.

At the age of 20, when a guy tries to tackle girls, girls would ask, “What are you?”

At the age of 30, when the girls see them, they would ask, “How are you?”

At the age of 40, the girls would ask, “Where are you?”

Lesson of the story: ~~Not to be choosy~~. Read more books and expand your vocabulary, otherwise, you will only know 5 words, what, how, where, are and you. That would be really sad. (Maybe I am missing the point of the story.)

It has been nearly half a year since I last updated my blog. I have wanted to write earlier but I have been putting it off because I have been extremely busy. This blog entry may turn out to be extremely long-due to excessive contained thoughts. For those who do not want to spend their time learning about my accumulated and resolved issues, feel free to scoot off while you still can. I will only write about funny stuff that I learnt in the next entry.

I do not even know where to start. A lot has happened and is happening but I am not sure that I am able to share it here. Let’s just start off with some observations that I have made about myself and new skills that I have picked up during the past few months.

1) I now realize the reason for my perpetual singlehood. I have extremely high standards that can top ISO9001. Some people have told me about this but I did not believe them because I do not expect people to follow my way of doing things. I am pretty harsh on myself. True, I may pamper myself with clothes, bags and indulge myself in doing whatever I want but I force myself to go through excruciating pains of long hours of studying, exercising, and dieting and so on. This is to ensure that I will be able to meet my own standards. They are fairly slow baby steps, but as long as I get there in my own time frame, I do not mind taking a longer time for more lasting results.

It turns out that I have specific requirements and standards for my boyfriend. He must be smart, able to engage in an intellectual conversation, good listener, self motivated, does not bug me all the time yet caring, able to care for himself, fairly good looking, and does not make noise all the time.

Well, people tell me to lower my standards so that I can easily find a boyfriend. But what I really want to ask them is, “Why do I want to lower my standards and find a boyfriend like yours? Why would I want to make my life miserable like you?” Again, if I post such questions to them, they will end telling me that I am jealous cow who just cannot find a boyfriend. Worst case scenario, they might cry and tell me that I am a heartless cow. Then, I would have to waste my time and tissue to console them. So, it is just better if I just shut up.

2) I am terrified of myself nowadays. In the past, if I am unpleased with someone, I will just show my emotions to them. When I try to conceal them, I will end up looking funny in the past. Nowadays, I am able to change my sad face into a pleasant one within seconds. An extremely useful skill to use on your “friends”.

3) I am capable of solving my own problems. Sure, I take my time, to cry, mope, get depressed about it. But after like a week or so, I am able to look at the problem from a third person’s point of view and make rational structured decision. As a result, people who talks to me are mostly those who are incapable of solving their own problems. Every time they come and see me, we spend time talking about their issues and expect me to solve it for them. Well, I guess I am dumb to offer them advice. Because like the saying, “Smart people do not need your advice, dumb people will not follow your advice.”

I used to get upset when people do not follow my advice. But, last month, there were three people who shared their issues with me. Despite me telling them and advising them about the way of getting about the problem, they just kept on repeating the issues to me. That was when it hit me that all they wanted to do was just keep talking about it and not takes any action to solve the problem. They agreed with the advice that I provided, but then they come up with 101 excuses to just remain there.

Whoever who reads this and terasa, well, go on and terasa la. If you approach and ask me whether I am talking about you, I will surely deny it. No point telling you, you would end up and then we spend an hour talking about you and issues.

4) I am capable of pretending to listen. In the past, I do listen to people and provide them with feedback and stuff. Now I just sit there, nod, give a sympathetic look and think about things that I am going to do when our perpetual conversation is over. And it turns out that people do not even realize that I do that. So nowadays, whatever you want to say in front of me, just say, I do not care.

5) Other people’s issue is sound, just and valid issues, whereas my issues are all imaginary and does not even qualify to be talked about. Like an issue that my friend talked to me about, for example, A wanted to try a special drug which would be costly, dangerous to her health and affect her studies. This drug does not even get you high. She asked me whether she should do it. I asked her if there is any benefit/fun/pleasure at all in it. She said there is no benefit in it. When I asked her the reason for wanting to try it, she say no reason. There was no influence or peer pressure or anything, just a whole load of crappy effects. And the farking conversation took place for two hours.

6) Working is much better than school life. I am doing my internship now and my colleagues do not bug me about this and that. They are friendly, kind and helpful. We do talk to each other at work but they do not flaunt their boyfriends, make me listen to how great they are, nor do they expect me to solve their problems in life. They seem to have their own brains and minds.

7) I am a good catch, I can engage in intellectually stimulating conversations, I can cook, clean, study, dress up properly, do sports, and I am independent. I am of average height, weight and looks. I have no reason to lower my standards for the sake of complying with society’s view. I am comfortable in my own skin, I am already 21, and I do not have self esteem issues. Maybe it is ok to have such issues in your adolescence age, but when you are 21, you would just seem like an old big baby with unresolved teenage problems. Again, if anyone terasa, no, I am not talking about you.

8) I am not afraid of dying alone. Unless you are dying in a massive carnage or some events like 911, you are going to die alone anyway. Unless you are an Indian man in India. To this very day, when the husband dies, some wives would actually accompany their husband by jumping into his grave during the burial. If I happen to develop the fear of dying alone one day, I will just get a wife from India.

9) I am emotionally retarded. I need one month for me to process major changes in my life. That is the standard waiting time. Even if I am there through the change (for example someone’s death, moving house), I would need realize it.. until one day, someone tells me things like, “Wow, so how long have you shifted here?”. Then, I go psychotic because I realize that I am not in house anymore and start asking my mother why she did not tell me that we moved, when I was involved in every single detail involved with the house moving right from the packing to the house warming. Damn.

10) It takes me one and a half month to really be myself with someone whom I just knew. Great.

Well, the main reasons that I have this undeniable hatred towards people with boyfriends were sparked by a few of last semester’s incidents. I will probably remember this few people for the rest of my life.

1) When I was taking 6 subjects and an external paper last semester, I have class almost every Saturday until 2pm. Then, I had to do most of the group assignments. When I told my friend about it, she asked me what I do on Sunday. She then further explained that since I was single, I would be free on Sunday (unlike her, who has a fruitful life and spends her weekends with her boyfriend)

2) Someone asked me whether I was pretending to be busy to look important. That fella was taking four subjects and ended up failing one of them. ~~Good for you, dipshit, I hope that you are reading this.~~

I have gotten so many new fun toys since last June. I have gotten a new phone, N900, bags from Nine West, jeans and dresses from BCBG Maxaria (gosh, I am totally in love with them), plenty of lovely things from Zara which I cannot really recall since it was some time ago. In terms of least materialistic stuff, I have learnt to be slightly more emotionally mature, earned myself a wonderful girlfriend, an even greater boyfriend, and also plenty of other friends who has gone through some wonderful things with me.

I will probably posts some pictures in the next entry. That is all for now, XOXO.

Reasons Why I Should Not Be A Teacher

2010-05-20T20:20:00.001+08:00

It has been forever since I last blogged. Life has been crazy, never mind other people, even I cannot seem to be able to catch up with myself. Well, I believe that there are more than adequate reasons that I should never ever, ever, ever become a teacher, unless I have evil plans to dominate the world or to have an army of zombies under my lead. Anyway, I was bored that day, so I thought of some reasons:

I will tell children, young school children that it is not important to attend my class, knowledge is free. Even if they skip class and go to the cc, they would still learn things. Nobody is to say or judge what is relevant in life. Swearing creatively is a good skill that cannot be picked in school easily. Spending an hour in the cc will help you learn more swear words than you would learn in your primary and secondary school combined.
The saying “di mana ada kemahuan, di sana ada jalan” means that where there are wants and needs, there will be affairs. You can see people having affairs everyone, workplace, school and so on. Even the teachers or some of your parents are having affairs. As you grow older, you will affairs too, like fo rmie, I have had plenty of affairs with KLCC, or more specifically Zara.
I will laugh really loudly in class for an hour because of a funny comment made by a student. Class will be temporarily stopped because I cannot stop laughing and I am having stomach cramps from laughing
I will tell them that there is no point getting married at all. Unless you are after the other person’s money and you will definitely get it
I will tell them that filial piety is great but optional, if your parents or your relatives treat you crap-like, you do not have the obligations to treat them any better. Although you are related genetically and they have been in the world a tad longer than you, it does not mean that you have to kiss on the ground they walked.
I will probably curse and swear in class
I will probably strangle those students who are ~~stupid~~ slower than most of other students
I will treat students that I like very differently compared to the ones that I do not like, I will make the guy I like as monitor, always asking him to go to the staff room to see me because of an emergency, like when one of the students did not hand up their books or something. Hahaha.

Well, I guess that is more than enough reasons for me to not be a teacher. So anyway, my second year final semester seemed short, but thinking back about the things that I have done in the first few weeks, they seem ages ago. Short summary of what I remember doing:

watching Legion with Ning Xin in KLCC
Getting hooked on Las Vegas
taking my external paper before chinese new year
bought air cooler
joining peer helping
shopping in Zara with Ning Xin, crazy shopping spree
getting hooked on The Tudors
crushing on Jonathan Rhys Meyer
became a crazy yoga freak
lost plenty of weight
went for Siew Huey’s party at Luna Bar
cried like someone died for two days in a row, (no, no one died, not really anyway)
hiao-ing men
studying regime interrupted
rug commited suicide
getting hooked on Friends
gained plenty of weight (due to stupidity and hiao-ness)
stop hiao-ing men
falling for John
mother’s spot check
flirting activities resumed but at a moderate rate
stop liking John
eating like a pig

Oh my god la, I am so so fat right now. I have gained like 2kg. Fark fark fark.. And I am not studying enough.Yaya, it is the semester break right now, but I think I hate or dislike myself right now. I am eating a lot, not studying enough and I am like so so lazy. I better change this soon.

Anyway, we must look at the bright side of life, I have learnt and experienced some new things this semester.

Do not go to the lingerie section if you do not need to buy anything.
Do not play eyes with men unless you are really bored and you are willing to face the consequences
Do not study overnight before your exam, there is no point in that, you will be extremely tired tomorrow and you will realise that there is no point of you doing that
How to properly blow dry your hair without turning up to uni looking like a kampung person
A good umbrella and a bra is a necessity for every girl (unless she lives in a land where it does not rain and there is no sun. For the latter, well, she has no boobs.)
A good friend genuinely cares and will think of you.Everyone will probably have a few of them in life. We must appreciate them and be grateful to them for turning up in your life.
The most dangerous person for me to shop with is myself. If I go to Zara KLCC alone, God knows how much things I would end up home with.
Do NOT trust men, no exceptions.
Do not wear your favourite shoes to club/parties. I am a violent person who will break those heels with my excessive jumping.
Do not play eyes with final year students, when they graduate, you will be really bored and will have a hard time scouting new victims
If you say “Thank you” and “Good Bye” and these kind of things to people, people will like you, accept you or acknowledge your presence, even anti-social, emo-ing people (eg. the utar bus driver for the LRT route)
It is crucial to be able to give good hand jobs. Google for more info.
The national library is a good place to study and to ogle at Korean guys
It is important to get married in life. Otherwise, what are you going to do at night? I have learnt from my beloved neighbour from the 17th floor of Block C Metroview that it is important to get married so that you can keep yourself entertained at night by cooking, mincing things, screaming at each other for an hour or so, and toilet cleaning. Otherwise, you would be bored at night like Jun where you can only sleep ~~or watch porn.~~ We must get married to get ourselves entertained
having a boyfriend has so so many benefits. Being an good, wonderful generous person, I am not going to have a boyfriend in the near future, so that someone else can have him.

Anyway, I am officially a black widow. Well, I actually nominate myself as “Black Widow”. I was totally in love(OMG! yeah, I know) with John for about two months. Then, I thought that I was totally crazy and I did not like myself to be that obsessed with someone for such a long time. After counselling myself for a week, I am officially over John. Really. In the past, I have always tried to not like the guys that I was crushing on and I would fail miserably. Now, I am officially John-free. 2 weeks plus already. I am able to obsess and let go at will now. Hurray, I can totally be those girls who has no emotional attachment nor want any kind of commitment. Hurray.

Ok, enough hurray-ing. Happy holidays. :)

Pick-Up Lines for Girls, Stalker Cow and Shopping Queen

2010-04-25T12:09:00.001+08:00

Have you ever liked/observed someone from a distance and you really really wanna be friends with him? I have heard many pick-up lines for guys, but maybe girls should try these:

bump into him and then pretend that your contact lens fell off, the two of you all would be spending time together, looking for the “lens that fell off”. After a while, give up and say that it is your fault for bumping into him and introduce yourself.
bump into him and drop your stack off notes (that was not bound/ tied together). Make sure those are unimportant notes, otherwise, If he does not help you retrieve it, you are dead. If he does not help you, leave the notes and avoid that guy
find out what class he is from and then crash his classes. Chances are that he will notice you, if he is observant. In fact, you can crash his tutorials from the beginning of the semester, then you can even group with him during assignments and stuff. Prepare the cover page by yourself and submit it without your name.
walk to him and ask if he is from your hometown. If he says no, then you can just say that he looks like someone from your secondary school. If it goes well, ask his name and where he is from. Leave at that and the next time he sees you, he is obligated to give you a nod, wave or a friendly smile.
ask to borrow his phone because you have just been mugged. Then, thank him profusely and ask for his name.

Well, at least that is what I would do if I like someone. A few weeks ago, there was this guy from uni that was playing eye with me. Every time I walk into the same room as him, his gaze would follow me. Since I was bored, I even played along. In fact, I almost know when he take his breaks and then I would just conveniently end up in the same place as he is just to mess with him. No, i am not crushing on him and nor do I know his name. I just wanted to mess with him. My sole purpose in this life is to mess with people’s head, so here I am, messing with someone’s son. Anyway, who cares? It is just for fun.

My obsession with a certain guy from school is getting too much. I am constantly stalking his msn. I check whether he is online. Then, I talk to his msn window. Like talk orally. I do not want to seem needy, desperate and clingy. But the truth is, I probably am. OMG la. Then, I tell him (or rather his msn window) things like,

“Why don’t u turn off ur pc if you are away?”
“What’s with ur pm? Are you okay?”
I had a good day today, managed to study, etc, etc.

About a month ago, I did not know how to spell his name yet. But, I know that his friend was on Facebook. So, I went to his friend’s profile to try to look for his account. The thing is this, let’s call this guy, John. People call/ spell his name differently, Johnny, Jonathan and so on. To make things worse, I do not know his surname. Did you all realise that John can be spelled as:

John
Jon
Jonathan
Johnny
Joni
Jonnie
Johnnie

I found out after that that his name was Jorn. Fuck.I wasted like three hours on that. According to Ning Xin, his parents probably named him that way so that people/stalker cannot stalk his Facebook profile. Haha. I am calling him John la, Jorn sounds so, porn. Haha.

OMG, I am acting like a freak. It has been so so long, since I was on full stalker mode. It was under control previously. Anyway, despite my obsession with John, I am glad that I like him less than shopping. I went to KLCC again last Friday. Alone. I learnt some very valuable lessons that day:

the person that I am most afraid to go shopping with is, myself. I would just buy everything.
never ever walk to the lingerie section if you are not planning to buy anything. You will end up buying something, or everything
Never go to KLCC Triumph section unless you are ready to go into the fitting room with the saleslady. Be prepared to be groped and pushed, if you know what I mean.
Triumph bras are nowhere expensive compared to Valisere. True, Triumph makes your boob stand up. Expensive good bras like Valisere make your boobs jump up, say hello to everyone. I am saving all my money to buy bras from Valisere and Valisere only. OMG la. I am totally in love with it. To all girls who wanna see, please feel free to contact me to make an appointment. No, I did not buy a lot from Valisere. What makes you think so? Even if they did invite me to the upcoming launch of their latest model. OMFG.
I will never buy Triumph bras ever again. That lacy white set will be my last. OMG, they look good too.
I look good in pink dresses. I will elaborate on this later.

OMG, I finished my money even before I reached Zara. When I went there, it was too late. I have no money left to buy that really nice black handbag. :( And that summer skirt that makes me appear thin (wuhu). Die la. I may like John a lot, but I like shopping more than him. I did not even think of him once when I was shopping. Ok, maybe just once.

Anyway, that pink dress of mine looks divine.

Yeah, that is me, after losing 80kgs and going for plastic surgery in Korea. There is John at the back as well. Maybe wearing white pants and shoes make him look a little gay. We took the picture in the small garden behind our house. Haahaha. I look great in that dress, it does not emphasize my butt. I am praying hard to make sure that I have an opportunity to wear it soon. I am asking God to:

make one of my friends or friends girlfriend/boyfriend pregnant soon, then they would get married and invite me to the wedding with my dress
make my birthday bash at an island/hotel or something where I can wear it
give me an island soon, then I can have my island warming party. Only normal mundane people have house warming parties, I have island warming. Island warming are so cool and it does not cause or contribute to global warming at all

Last resort: I am hiring someone to go to the UTAR ball with me next year so that I can wear that dress there.

This is how I look now. I realise I have not posted pics of myself since forever, but who cares. This was before I went to celebrate Siew Huey’s 21st birthday at Luna Bar. The place rocks, man. I am having my engagement party with John there.

There are some pics of me during the party on Facebook and I went a little crazy that day. Just a little.

Oh, and it is study week now. crap. I have to study now. I just have to stalk John’s msn for a little while more. Haha. XOXO and happy studying.

(P.S. For your information, I am single. Very very single. Around like 5 people asked me if I was dating already. I am as single as a nun, except for the flirting and playing eye part.)

Sad about my friend who committed suicide and Ways to Take Revenge Over a Breakup

2010-04-11T11:48:00.001+08:00

I am very very sad about a certain loss that I have to go through recently, I have even written a poem about it.

Why did you have to jump?

Couldn’t we have talked about it?

Maybe you tried talking to me about it, but I did not pay enough attention.

But surely, you did not have to jump down.

There must be another solution.

I will miss you dearly and though I do not agree that jumping down is a solution, I hope that you are resting in peace now.

OMG, I really feel like crying now. I just realised that I do not have a single picture of us together. I only got to know about it last night.

Let us now take a moment and pray for my beloved rug who has jumped down from my window. I left it at the window then it fell down. Hahahaha. Maybe it cannot tahan smelly foot. Anyway, Tan Ning Xin, if you are reading this, we must go Ikea shopping for new rug and mirror, I do not want to buy the same kind of rug anymore, the bulu keep coming out, my room very dusty because of it. I want a pink rug. Maybe I should not talk bad about it, later it will haunt me or something. Hey, that would make a good horror movie. It will be called, “The Rug”.

Haha, I have been fairly ok, I have not been gaining weight and I have been studying ok. I have lose a significant amount of weight this year. Amen. But, I have a problem, I am too hiao. There, I said it. Everyday ask people go out play only. Hiao boys, girls, dears and deers. End up losing money, thin-ness, and studying time. Die die die. But ok la, I have been making good friends in the process.

Anyway, I was just thinking about ways to take revenge when someone breaks up with you, but if you are coupling right now, please make sure that you know and have your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s:

ic number
credit card number and cvv2 number, and the limit of the credit card (you can memorize a few numbers at a time, no need to steal his credit card)
house key
e-mail, facebook or any other online accounts

When they decide to breakup with you, do not throw a fuss or whatever. Just be sad and say you need to go clear your head and you will talk to him when you are able to think clearer.

Go online in a cyber cafe where people cannot track your IP address or whatever. Start purchasing things with his credit card, such as air tickets and stuff like that, anything that would not linked back to you. As far as I know, AirAsia and MAS process your purchases immediately and credit card companies will not call to verify the purchase. Buy the earliest flight to far far countries, Istanbul, Timbaktu or something with overlapping flight times. Something that he will not be able to cancel or fly with. Send a few bouquets of flowers to girls (who likes him, his ex, or his bosses wife), with notes confessing his undying love for them and to meet him up in his office in the next working day. Message him to make sure that he turns up to work the next day, asking him to meet you for lunch at a certain restaurant near his office. Use his e-mail and sign up for all kinds of newsletter. Make sure it is those cheap companies that would sell his e-mail add to some other companies. Sign up for Fortune magazine or Reader Digest online. Even if the credit card is declined, it is fine. Once these people get hold off your address, they will send you things every now and then unless they receive your death cert. Then go to your facebook or whatever, change your status into single, saying that you will not disclose the reason, because it is too private unless your ex chooses to disclose the reason. Create a new profile of a guy and start adding friends here and there to look like a real human being.

The next morning, after he leaves for work, go to his house,

change his alarm/security password
let his pets go loose in his house
call for surveyors, prostitutes, priets or whatever to his house scheduled for the next month
go to pet shop and buy RM5 worth of bugs, put it in his pilow, box of cereal or something. HAhaaha.
Go to his cupboard and cut a button a two from a few shirts, make sure it is not obvious. For pants, cut off the pocket. It will not be visible from the outside, but he will notice it if his things start go missing
Sew small pieces of fish/ meat into the skirting of his curtain, by the time he realises where the smell is from, he will already be dead
Pour small amount of bleach into his shampoo, make sure he cannot smell it, then a month after the breakup, he will be looking like an old old man.

Then, message him to tell him that you are not able to meet him because you are still very much in love with him and cannot bear to see him. However, you are ready to let go.

Every night before you sleep, do order McDonalds delivery to mess with your ex. Hahaha. Then, a few days later, sign into his facebook(fb) and upload plenty of gay pictures of him and also pictures of other gay people. I dunno if this pic looks gay, but it would be a good pic for guys to upload to their facebook account.

Change his status to “in a relationship” with a certain guy(which was created by you). The profile pic should look something like that.

Declare on his fb that he has always been gay and thank his ex for being so supportive and understanding his sexuality. And that he has been battling such thoughts since he was molested by a family friend when he was 10. Hahaaha. Join a few pro-gay community/ group as well. Make a few comments on a few good looking guys as well. Then, change his fb and e-mail address to avoid retaliation.

There you go, you will be a good person who will receive plenty of support from friends and family whereas your ex will end up dead in real life, in work and fb.

Anyway, I have a major crush on someone in uni. The person is of average height, not dark, not fair, something like that la. I told my sister about it, my sister ask if that person is a boy or girl. BOdo bodo bodo. But really problematic la, But really problematic la, I am acting like a love strucked teenager, giggling when I think of him. Die la, study week coming and I am giggling non stop. Bodo. I hope E is not reading this. If he does, I will just ask him to break up with me. Then I will use all the steps above. Amen.

I think I really like this guy from uni. Crap.

Looking for Men & Major Shopping Spree

2010-03-22T08:50:00.001+08:00

What if I post this on the paper with my particulars on it?

The reason that I wanna post this? My ceiling fan is dirty and I do not feel like asking my housemates to help me to clean it. After the person cleans the fan, then I will send him out. Haha, I will make sure all my housemates will be around just in case he does not want to leave. But it is still quite dangerous since HE WILL KNOW WHERE I LIVE. I think I will just find another alternative then.

These few weeks has been extremely busy. I have not been out for nearly 3 weeks, unless you include those grocery shopping in Jusco. I went to KLCC last week and a 2 hour trip turned into a 6 hour trip because I went with a hiao person, Tan Ning Xin. Maybe I should include her IC no as well.

Anyway, I realise that I should go out shopping more often other than acting like a kampung person when I was in Zara. Is it just me or the girls there just seem prettier? Their hair looks like the one on the CD cover of Taylor Swift’s Fearless. How the heck do you accomplish that in real life? I wake up at 4am and my hair is nowhere at that level. When I was in Zara, I was totally busy:

gawking at the pretty girls,
touching the rich, soft textures of the bags and coats ~~(OMG, I nearly could have an orgasm)~~
looking at the nice leather bags, leather jackets

OMG, I wanna go to Zara again. I dunno la, I think I am going crazy. I am extremely happy as well since the clothes that I wear are one size smaller. ~~Hurray, come let’s celebrate by eating non-stop tonight.~~

Anyway, it was only a 6 hour trip but the effects were dire, I came back with 2 big Nike plastic bag, a big bag from Zara and a few from Isetan. I have to eat grass for a month starting today. I ended up buying a:

black handbag from Zara
stripped blue and white shirt from Zara(OMG, it will totally become favourite shirt)
another T-shirt from Zara
Nike backpack
Nike yoga mat
Esprit umbrella

I am so screwed if my mother reads this. She will send me back to JB and no one will hear or see me ever again.

Anyway, just a short thing lately. I must not be hiao anymore. Really. I must not be HIAO. Consequences of being hiao is very dire, with effects like:

constant ringing of the phone
credit of phone depleting like the water reservoir levels in our country
supply of money depleting faster than (2)

From today onwards, I am not going to hiao any men….. other than my deer Sheng Hung, my five housemates, Joe and well, maybe another one or two guys.But that is it. I asked like 8 men to go out with me to the hot air balloon fair/contest and nobody wanna follow me. Only the weird people, or bystander wanna follow me.

Here, I would like to express displeasement with some people:

1. Tan Ning Xin

She commented that I lose weight. Proof: My shirts are one size smaller now. Wuhu. Then, she has to go say that my top and bottom (a.k.a butt) slims down at different rates. The bottom slims down at a slower rate, the ONLY reason that someone would like me enough to marry me is because of my ability to give BIRTH. ~~I do not like her.~~

2. Joe Ling

Being my boyfriend (somehow), he should give me emotional and financial support. But when I call him, he laughs at me when I tell him about my problem and does not tell me about his. I want a breakup.

Ok, I need to go study, otherwise, I will be screwed for my Life Contingencies test tomorrow. I will blog soon about how I cured my sleeping problems. Crap, I think this is stuck in my brain:

“The only people who will like you are those who are the only son in the family. The only reason they like you is because of your big butt. Big butt signifies your ability to give birth to an infinite number of offspring.”

I AM SO DEAD.

Angry at God

2010-03-17T08:29:00.001+08:00

I know, I know, I might seem like the worse person on Earth for writing this post. But, hear/read me out first.

When I go to pray in the temple or my heart, I do not ask for things, well, not really. I do not say things like:

I want my tutorial to be done when I get home, otherwise I wanna change religion
I want to strike 4D
I want to get 4.0 for this semester and no way am I touching my notes at all, there are so many Goddess and stuff, figure it out among yourself
I want 10 male strippers to magically appear in my room, pls expand the size of my room in the process

But, rather, I would thank them for my families health, safety, wellbeing. And I hope that all would go well for the above three things. Hopefully, this semester my results would be ok, I would be able to study well, without distraction of “small people”. I do not know what “small people” is in English, obstruction and stuffs like that. Hopefully, my dad is fine or he would have move on or something.

But, what if one day, they told you that something is going to happen, I am not going to say how, figure it out yourself. It could be via sms, mms, e-mail, fb, etc, etc. For example,

“God tells you that you are going to win something today. Well, you know that there is a chance that it may be right, but my average level of luck is well, average. But the thing is I did not send out a contest form or anything of that sort, instead I locked myself in the room. Then, somehow, my phone rang and the thing was they somehow selected me as a winner by randomly picking telephone number.”

(The above story takes place in a condition assuming that there is no such thing as fraud.)

wth. I am not sure I want to win that thing. :( I am not angry because I am ungrateful or anything. It is more like a friend who knows you so well telling you about something that you will encounter. Then, it happens and you feel like hitting your friend, but you know that it is just so true.

Anyway, I am so screwed, this was my sleeping schedule last night.

3am: Lights off

3.30am: Finally feel asleep.

4.30am: Woke up because of stomachache and headache. Finally took panadol.

5.00am: Feel asleep.

6.00am: Stomachache.

6.30am: Cow cannot sleep anymore.

If I faint in university, I really need to make sure that I faint among handsome, strong, good men. Otherwise, they sure cannot angkat me. I really need to lose weight if I intend to faint more.

But,

Eat less, become sicker, become thinner= faint more

faint more=Eat less, become sicker, become thinner

Wth, I really need to get to uni now. For those of you who noticed my paleness, try to be patient and if possible, ask a few handsome, strong, good men to follow me around this few days.

(P.S. I am insomniac and crazy. My mother would be so proud to know. )

Hot and Desperate

2010-03-03T21:53:00.001+08:00

Been meaning to update my blog for a while now, but very busy. So, I am not going to blog about all the exams and stuff, probably going to take a day or two. Haha. This is an advertisement that I have been wanting to post for a while now. Dun tin that people would let me advertise in their newspaper. Haha. 100% original work of Jun.

Haha, have a good laugh and carry on studying guys. I guess I will only update my blog in a month’s time. :)

Insomnia and Lovesick(Obsessed) With…

2010-02-17T21:47:00.001+08:00

Happy belated Chinese New Year and Happy Belated Valentine’s Day. Yes, yes, I have insomnia. And I have been (OMFG) so busy. It seems that I get a wave of depression and insomnia once every four months. It works that way every semester. Really. After my mid semester’s tests and quizzes, I would get tired/ depressed. Like crying just for the sake of crying alone crying. Then I go for a crazy shopping spree. Then my finals would come and every time my semester ends, I would get get insomnia. This is due to the my overactive mind during the finals and after that, my mind would not stop thinking when I am about to sleep. During the semester, there would be no such problem since I would study until I am terribly exhausted but the thing is, after that my mind would still be working non stop at that time and I would be feeling untired(if there’s such a word), and I will be unable to fall asleep. Crap. You know that no matter how hard life is, it is still worth it because he will be there waiting for you.

You know that you have fallen in love with someone when:

you think about that certain someone all the time, in the middle of the night, in the morning, in lecture halls, in the shower, when you are eating, shopping, watching drama and well, practically every infinitesimal intervals of time
you see someone who would know things/data/news about that person, you would shoot them with gazillions of questions
you can just spend every second with them and not get bored/ tired
you would give up everything for them (studies, money, shopping(OMFG!))
when you confess your undying love to them, your heart almost failed due to the rapid heartbeats and whether he will laugh at your statement
when he tells you that he likes you too, you feel like the happiest person on Earth, and you just cannot stop smiling and laughing out loud the entire day. You would feel like smiling to the weird, creepy person who has been staring at you for the past ten minutes, because you are just so happy
there is nothing more that you want than to hear him so, “I love you too.” Not even a LV bag, permanent straight hair or plentiful of money
you will feel like “hahahaing” out loud all the time

Because of the person that I am in love with, I am so screwed for Chinese New Year though. I have been spending so much time with/on him that I have to study 4 weeks worth of notes and text book in the CNY. I have been studying for the past few days and yet it is as if I did not study at all. Studying in CNY sucks and you will feel like you have not celebrated it at all. The stupid books have been terribly heavy to carry from university, to the LRT station, to the airport and back home. Anyway, it is totally worth it for the man I love. And even though I have grown like so much fatter because of my overeating during the CNY, I know that he will still love me. :)

From now onwards, I am going to start telling everyone that:

i cannot wait to get married
there are plenty of good men out there, maybe you just haven’t found him
I am going to work for few years before getting married and settle down and quit my job to be a full time housewife to spend my time with him and our kids
relationship is good
he is not perfect but because of our love, we are willing to accept our shortcomings and learn from each other
I cannot bear to spend a minute, or even a second apart from him, I want to spend each of my future days with him
I believe everything that he tells me like when he tells me that he is going to support more in all aspects in life, bring me to Australia, Paris and Milan, buy me a VW
he was like a candle, lighting the path, chasing away all darkness

I just realised how negative and evil I was before this. It is a good thing that he cured me! I love you, E! I really really do. I will reveal the identity of that guy in my next post, I cannot seem to find any decent picture of him.

This has been a good year though:

I have lost 3 kgs (which I have almost gained back during CNY, but hopefully, I will be able to get rid of more of it when I get back to KL)
I have managed to save money and spend less
I have been able to study like a crazy person
I have fallen in love
I found a life long goal
I did not even color/straighten my hair until last minute because there are more important things than hair/ clothes
I did not buy much clothes for Chinese New Year
movie watching? Almost obsolute in Jun’s dictionary
I saw a cute guy working in Genting’s Starbucks who looks exactly like that guy from the Korean series, Cruel Temptation (no, this does not count as cheating)
I have been to Genting twice this year, and trust me, I am going to hit 10 times by the end of this year. Mark my words. (Not just to see the cute guy who works in Starbucks, really)

Genting CNY Decoration in Highland Hotel

Yee Yyn and Me taking a quick snapshot b4 going back to KL

I guess I look tired and stuff. And my hair was long then. It is shorter now, ew.

One bad thing about ‘friends’ though, if it seems meaningless for you to spend RM0.15 a minute to talk to me, do not contact me it is fine. Please do not contact me only about a year later through some ways telling me about how much you miss and care for me, but it is just too expensive to call me. Or when I call you, you tell me about how broke you are and then you tell me that you just went to Milan shopping and bought like 5 LV bags to match your clothes (because it is so uncool to wear clothes with unmatching colour bags), please do not get mad at me if the line suddenly get cut off. The line did not break off, i merely press the “red button” on my phone. Not happy? Sue me then, but then again I do not remember you trying to call/msg me after that.

Happy Chinese New Year and may everyone win money when they play blackjack.

What I learnt in 2009

2010-01-03T20:52:00.001+08:00

2009 has been a great year in the sense that I have learnt plenty of things in terms of:

academic
friends (who to trust, bla, bla, bla)
make up (how to draw eyeliner, put on eyeshadow and other things)
dress up slightly better
life
deal with death
deal with sarcasm
~~exorcism~~

Anyway, I have learnt a few great lessons in life which I did not know before this year:

trust increases exponentially with looks. If you are pretty/ handsome, people would trust you, if you are ugly, you should not blame anyone for not trusting you. There was a horror movie that was featured a few years back where this witch who used to invite little children from her village to her house. One day, a young boy was missing and everyone suspected her for kidnapping/eating him up because she was ugly. The angry villagers came to her house and killed her. Later the boy returned to the village unharmed, it turns out that he merely lost his way in the woods. Then the ugly witch became a ghost and haunted the village. The end. There were a few times this year when I tried to warn a few people about stuff this year, but they did not believe me because I was warning them against people who were prettier than me. When they came back crying, I merely hear what they have to say, not listen to them. Moral of the story: if you look like: then you should not blame anyone when people do not trust you
beauty is important. If there is anyone who tell you that physical beauty is not important, personality is more important. Tell them you agree as well, this is why people fall in love at first sight or become attracted to you when they see your wonderful personality. It has nothing to do with your looks. Really. Seriously, look at fairytale stories. If Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are ugly, even small innocent children would boycott the movie. The only successful movie featuring ugly characters is The Ugly Duckling, and that is because we do not know how to differentiate between ugly and pretty looking ducks. There was a person who tried convincing me that beauty is not important at all, the only thing important is what you are on the inside. I got to hear from a friend of mine that that particular person is thinking about dumping her boyfriend because she wants to go for that cute guy (significantly cuter) than her current boyfriend. Take your own advice la, cow.
never offer advice to anyone unless people really really ask you for it. I learnt a saying last year which goes, “Geniuses do not need your advice, and fools won’t take it.” There were a few times this year when someone ask me what to do about her cheating boyfriend. When I told her that she just break the thing up since he has cheated on her for the millionth time, she ask me whether I had told her to break up with him so that I can get with her boyfriend. So no, never do that if you are ugly (refer to 1). There was another person who came to me, with the same problem from say, January to December. When I offered her a solution, (for example, get a job since you are broke), she will say that it is impossible to look for a job under the current economy. Every time, she will just give that same excuse for the problem without trying to look for a job. So, do not offer advice, since you yourself will be agitated by the lack of their initiative.
Hear people out, do not listen. If you listen to the same problem from January to December, you will die of panic attacks whenever the person come close to you. So, just hear what the person has to say, you are not obligated to listen to them.
Do not do nice things for people. If you take initiative to do things for others, most would take advantage of you. Only a handful would actually be grateful. When you approach them about it, they can say, “I never ask you to do help me, so, I am not obligated to do the same for you.” Plus, they can say,”You should help me without any motives, but you actually did it so that I would repay you with the same act? OMG.” Yeah, if you help people, you might just become the bad person when they ask you the second question. So, stay out of people matters, you see someone falling into a pond, walk away. Buat tak tahu. Unless, it is one of your good friends.
immediate family is the most important thing. Most friends/fiends and relatives are there when they need you. And when you need them, they are always busy. Yeah, I am sure that they would have helped me if I pick a better time for my problems. Here, I apologized for my problems to have arose at times which are not to your convenience. Kudos on your problem always arising at times to my convenience (eg. 3am in the morning).
When people tell you their problem, smile, never criticise and shut up. If you cannot shut up, try to smile or keep your tongue bitten. Then you would not feel the urge to try to offer advice to that person. Smile, but not in a weird way, later that person might think that you are insensitive pulak. Wuhu. And you might go to hell for that
Do things for people with a smiley face, otherwise, people might get the idea that you are unhappy that you have to help them, when you guys are best friends. If someone knocks your door at 4a.m., asking you to lend them your laptop, you must provide it to them, smiling, with the battery fully charged. Otherwise, people would say that you are selfish and once again, you will end up in hell.
Do not gossip about people. That person might hear about it and seriously, no one is interested. If you talk bad about a person, it is because you are jealous of him/her. If you say that someone’s bf/gf is no good, you are in fact jealous that you cannot have him/ her as your bf/gf.
Do not get MARRIED. I have heard plenty of crappy things about marriage. There is a girl who married a guy who was way out of her league. The only reason that he married her because she was the person who stood with him when he was poor, now that he is rich, he is thinking of expanding his business (and marriage) to China. Talk about true love. I played this relationship’s game on my sister’s phone yesterday and I ended up single in it. OMG la. I even screwed up my personal relationships in the virtual world. I have duly accepted my eternal singlehood with an open heart and excitement. May I never get married.
I have learnt to accept blame/ criticism and other sorts of crappy things this year. When people suspects you of something, just ask, “what makes you say that?” and “Uh-huh”, otherwise people would say that you are an evil person who does not accept blame. There was a person who confronted me about whether I was the girl who kept calling her boyfriend. Seriously, and I am good friends with this girl. Luckily, I have learnt this lesson, so I merely ask, why she thought so. She replied, “ Well, obviously, it is you, who else does he talk to in that club’s meeting?”. I replied, “Uh-huh”, and apologize and walk away with my watery red eyes (for show). Two weeks, she called me, telling me about how sorry she was, bla bla bla, and that it was another girl in that meeting. I merely replied, “ What makes you think it is her?” and “Uh-huh”. If someone suspects you for something that you did not do, chances are that you two are not supposed to be friends.
When you hate someone, it is fine, just treat them invisible. When you see them in class, look through them and their boyfriends. No, I am not talking about anyone in particular.
listen to your distant relatives. It is true, my mother is USELESS. My sister and I have told her about it straight to her face last week. Other than providing food, education, advice, money, shelter, clothes, rides to school/tuition centres/airport/bus stations, she does NOTHING for us. Unlike my relatives, they pray for us. The only reason that we are alive and well to this very day has nothing to do with my mother, the only people that my sister and I have to thank are our relatives. When I grow up and earn plenty of money, I would buy a big house for us to live in, without my mother, of course since she has never done anything for me.
If someone betrays you for RM50, you are still supposed to treat them as friends. Otherwise, people think that you are cheap.
Always always put your phone silent when you sleep. The world will not crumble while you are at it. People’s problem are not mine to solve, since I cannot do anything for them, I can only hear and not offer advice.
My money is not money, but other people’s money is money. If I pay RM20 for someone, it is just a small sum. But, if someone pays RM5 for me, I am obligated to kowtow to them. RM5!!! OMG, RM5, have you seen a RM5 note before? I have never seen one before. Really.

That is all for now, I am off to jotting down my resolutions for 2010. Happy new year.

Princess and The Frog and Avatar

2009-12-30T21:08:00.001+08:00

It has been ages since I last updated my blog. Life has been extremely hectic. Plenty of stuff has been going on. I will do a short summary about this year in the upcoming post.

I watched Princess and The Frog and Avatar in Pavillion last Monday. I was pretty excited to watch the cartoon since I have not watched a cartoon for more than 4-5 years. Unless you count anime. I have watched Beauty and The Beast and Anastacia a year ago, but I have watched the two movies when I was younger. Anyway, the movie was less than 90 minutes long.

The movie revolves around a poor girl, Tiana, who has dreamt about owning her own cafe/restaurant since she was a little girl. After plenty of hard work and saving up, she managed to save enough for the down payment of her restaurant. However, the owner of the shop told her that she would have to pay the full payment of the restaurant in three days time, otherwise, they would sell the place to someone else. Then, introducing, Prince Naveen, a prince who only cares about having fun and enjoying life. His parents had cut him off and he has to find a rich princess to marry, if he does not want to start working and give up his leisure lifestyle. Charlotte, Tiana’s rich friend has always wanted to marry a prince. When Prince Naveen came to town, he seemed to be the perfect catch. However, the prince was turned into a frog by an evil sorcerer. In the party hosted by Charlotte’s father, Tiana somehow got her dress stained and had to change into one of Charlotte’s fancy dresses. The frog aka Prince Naveen saw her and mistook her for a princess and got her to kiss him. However, being a commoner, she turned into a frog after kissing him. Then, they set out into a journey to reverse the spell.

The movie was a disappointment, it was extremely predictable. The jokes were not funny, only the 8 year-olds sitting in front of me was laughing when Charlotte fell down when she was slipped on her bulky, expensive dress. Even Wee fell asleep in the movie, Shu Mei, being a fan of cartoons found the movie to be a bit boring as well.

Make sure you watch movie only if you:

are 8 years old and below
have nothing to do, really NOTHING to do
enjoy frogs jumping around and singing

I should have known better, I am an old cow now, frogs and prince do not appeal to me, even if they are singing and dancing. LOL, I will do a review on Avatar soon. Merry Christmas. :)

The Fourth Kind is FAKE!!!

2009-11-21T16:16:00.001+08:00

I went to watch The Fourth Kind with Wei Chyi, Bernard and Khai Chiah last week. It was a pretty ok movie. The movie itself was not very interesting, but I thought that it was ok, since it was a documentary and each of its scene was actually backed up by a real video. So although it was pretty boring, but I thought it was fine since it is real. Below is the trailer for the movie. And btw, that set of eyes below to an owl, not an alien.

It is called the Fourth Kind due to the these classifications.

The First kind- sighting of a UFO
The Second Kind- evidence is collected
The Third Kind- making contact with extraterrestrials
The Fourth Kind- abduction.

Anyway, a short synopsis about the movie first. The movie revolves around Dr Abigail Tyler whose husband was recently murdered by an intruder. This supposed intruder stabbed her husband a multiple of times when she was lying next to him in the bed. She witnessed the whole thing but she could not see the face of the man. Despite being traumatized by the event, she still continued working as a psychiatrist. Then, she found out that her insomniac patients were going through similar things where they would have difficulty sleeping at night because there is an owl outside their window or something. This encounter has been the most difficult to document-until now. Set in modern-day Nome, Alaska, where--mysteriously since the 1960s--a disproportionate number of the population has been reported missing every year. Despite multiple FBI investigations of the region, the truth has never been discovered. Here in this remote region, psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler began videotaping sessions with traumatized patients and unwittingly discovered some of the most disturbing evidence of alien abduction ever documented.

I was thinking that it was pretty cool for a movie like that to be actually made and documented. Anyway, I started googling for more information and realised that the whole thing is a hoax. A freaking big HOAX. Just google “the fourth kind viral marketing” and you will see. I have pretty much summarised it:

No one has heard of the psychologist, including the state licensing board and president of the state psychologists association
The accounts for Dr Abigail Tyler was set up in 2008 by the people who made the movie
According to records, there is no Dr Abigail in practise and there is no record of her missing daughter
Someone recognized the real “Dr. Abigail Tyler” as an actress from some show
The setting of the place, Nome has no mountain or whatever. Damn flat. They probably put the mountain and stuff for more “feel”.

According to Wikipedia, on September 1, 2009, an investigation by the Anchorage Daily News examined the validity of the film's premise, and its relation to actual disappearances that have occurred in and around the town of Nome. The investigation found no specific events to back up the claims in the film and also revealed that unsolved deaths in Nome are no more frequent than any other small Alaskan town. The consensus is that the high rate of alcoholism combined with the harsh landscape surrounding Nome accounts for a majority of disappearances (just as in other remote areas).

Universal created several phony online news archives in its viral marketing campaign for the movie starring Milla Jovovich. The controversy came from Universal’s decision to attribute these fake articles to real newspapers. The papers cried foul, and the studio ultimately coughed up a $22,500 settlement.

At first I could rationalise spending my time and money on a pretty sucky movie because it was based on a true event. But then, if it is all fake. It was not very scary, more like disturbing since those “alien victims” scream hysterically and stuff. The only scary part was with Dr Abigail Tyler. She looked a lot like an alien. The main reason that I even went for the movie was because of Milla Jovovich. I agree, she is a beautiful woman. I totally loved her in the Resident Evil trilogy. She played the role of Alice really well. Resident Evil 1

Resident Evil 1

Resident Evil 3, more boyish but still great

She is a good actress, really. But then, I realised that she is really bad in picking out the roles of the movies. All the other movies that I have watched is really bad, the only consolations are watching her and her acting only. Take Ultraviolet, A Perfect Getaway and this, it is really bad. I do not think I will go for another movie with her in it. Unless she looks really pretty la. LOL.

Enough about aliens and Milla Jovovich. Results for Statistical Test 1 is out. Really easy punya course. I got like 2/3 of the marks. Think I suck? Think again.

This is like the average marks. Out of 45. Memang great subject la. Lucky today’s test was pretty simple. Better study now. I will blog more about myself in the next post.

(P.S. I am going for the UTAR Trekathon tomorrow in the Lake Gardens tomorrow. Hopefully, there will be cute guys from other faculties. )

Have a great weekend. XOXO.

Why Am I Not Pretty Enough??!!

2009-11-08T18:57:00.001+08:00

I heard about James on that day itself. It was really sad. He had such a bright future but that was it. My condolence to him and his family. Hopefully, he did not die in vain and people would learn about the dangers of waterfall in Kampar. For anyone who did not know about it, James was a student in UTAR Kampar. I got to know him in Foundation, I was not really close to him, but I was affected by his death in some ways. Maybe because it is the frikin month of November. I was listening to Jesse McCartney’s “How Do You Sleep” when I realise that I wanted to ask my dad this:

I had two tests yesterday. Business law and Statistical Simulation. I think I did ok for my Biz Law. Stats? Die la. But I did try my best so, wth? I went for a movie yesterday, The Time Traveller’s Wife. It was pretty good and touching. It was beyond my expectations since the movies that I watched recently was definitely bad. Rachel McAdams was so so pretty. The movie was beautiful.

The Time Traveller and Young Claire.

Henry and Clare at their wedding.

Well, I think that I am becoming prettier (ignore my post’s title) in the sense that my skin is like way better than last year. I do not even need to put on foundation anymore. Now it is just like a small tiny layer of powder and I can even go to KLCC. People would not look at me, point and say, “Ew, look at that ugly cow there.”

This week has been pretty crappy. I had a major outburst after hovering at James’ facebook page. Then, I started thinking about my dad and stuffs and wuhu, there you have it. A freaking major outburst. Macam Tsunami and lasted for like 45 min to an hour. No one was injured. LOL. Then, I also found out that the guy that I was crushing on has a girlfriend. I guess I am just dumb and never considered that possibility. I should have taken the advice of a wise old woman named Jun:

“Just because you are single, it does not mean that the whole is single like you.”

Simple but memang betul. Screw my Seduction Acts in school. But that does not mean that I am going to start dressing like crap to uni.

Anyway, there are three stories to why I think that I am ugly and beauty is everything. And it all happened in two weeks time.

Story A:

Once upon a time, Jun went for an interview. Unknown to her, the person who was interviewing her was the owner of the company. Coincidentally, that fella was a friend of hers. She went for the interview and aced the whole thing. For example, the interview was for a secretary post. She was made for the job since she has been working as a secretary for 5 years, great at filing, making phone calls, types fast and stuff. It turned out that she and this other girl were the only people who was applying for the job. This girl was much prettier than Jun but has like zero experience for the secretarial job. ~~I love that friend of mine!~~ This shows why I should go for plastic surgery.

Story B:

Once upon a time, I went to do something for myself and other people. I went to that place alone and as a result I was/ had to:

a) nearly robbed

b) nearly murdered and raped

c) soaked wet in the rain

d) walk like 20 minutes to the LRT station

If I were prettier, I could have asked someone to drove me there. Tons of guys would have died for the chance to take me there. And after I did that, did I receive a “Thank you'”? No, because fat, ugly girls like Jun do not deserve a thank you or help.

Story C:

Once upon a time, Jun fell in love with a guy, D. Then one day, she got to know that D liked her too, and planned to ask her to be his girlfriend…… if he does not succeed in asking two other girls to be his girlfriend. That means, I was third in line to be his girlfriend. If it is third in line to be the Queen of England, it would be ok la. But third in line to be his girlfriend? Good, keep your offer to yourself.

These are the three stories that I will be sending to the Government of Malaysia to sponsor my plastic surgeries. I think I will get the sponsorship. LOL.Unless they give it to pretty girls like in Story A. Crap. LOL.

Windows Live Writer

2009-10-25T10:28:00.001+08:00

I was just downloading the new version on Messenger. There was this Windows Live Writer thingy, then I thought, why not? OMG, it is a total life saver. It is much simpler to use and extremely easy to add pictures. Got autoformat some more. Unlike stupid blogger. Everytime you upload a pic, it will turn up at the top of the page and you will have to drag it down to the place you want while getting thru other pics and paragraphs. Wuhu. I love Windows Live Writer. You get nice borders and you can add stuff easily.

I came across these pics for how to avoid swine flu and it was just reali funny.

Do not:

Kiss a pig? LOL. I kissed a pig and I liked it. The taste of its muddy skin. LOL.

Do:

Kiss with your masks on? LOL. I think it would be the same as having sex with a condom. LOL.

My results for the last semester is ok ok. Much better than the previous semester. But I would call it an abnormal result. Most people got great like 3.8 kind of GPA, a lot got below 2.0 as well. I am stuck in the middle. I do not think that I know of anyone at all whose results is at my range. Anyway, I guess I am special then. Well, but it would be almost impossible to take up the PTPTN offer where it would be converted into a scholarship if you can graduate with first class. LOL.

Anyway, first two week of school is great! It is not great like great great but 8/10 great. LOL. I think there are some people who quit or something. Like many people who have gone missing or something. Maybe they forgotten that school started. Or not. Next week would be like hell, I am having three tests next week and since it is a short semester where I am only taking 3 subjects.. it means that I would be tested on all subjects.

I straighten my hair again two weeks ago, it was getting curly and messy again. Pictures of me cam whoring.

Exhibit 1:

Exhibit 2:

(Look at my necklace! It was a birthday gift from NX. Plus, I got that cute dress from JB and I think I pretty much love it. There is a great story behind it. Let’s save it for next post though.)

Exhibit 3:

I tried to make Wee take pictures for me but I chickened out the last minute. I had time to cam whore becoz I was all dolled up for school but it was still early, I guess. Next time la. LOL, but I will definitely put my pictures on my posts.

I finally realised my problem. After 20 years of singlehood (ok, 15 years) I finally got it. The problem is with ME! M-E, ME! The problem has been looking at me forever. When I see this cute guy, I walk towards him, then I run. Then I chase (like a cheetah, or a fat cheetah). If he:

a) chase back, I start running away and tell everyone what a weird guy he was to have liked me

b) starts running away, I will not stop obsessing about him and tell everyone about my failed attempt.

(Yeah, that was how I looked like when I realised my problem and realised that I was gonna be alone for a long long time. I was thinking about where my prince is. LOL.)

I realised my problem when I realised that I was avoiding this guy that I was crushing on like a month ago. I “forgot” that I had to go out with him. But, I was jumping up and down when this other guy was smsing me. So, I made a comparison between the both guys:

(Yes, I put my problems in writing. Laugh all you want.)

Then, I was like. Takkan I like dark guys to fair guys? Studious, funny and fun is all ok ok la. I was crushing on Guy B like a month ago. That was when I realised the real problem. Bodoh bodoh bodoh. So, now I know, I will not be in a relationship anytime soon due to my stupidity. LOL. Not that I am upset about it. Now, I know. There is this cute, smart, nice guy at school as well. LOL, not that cute and I am sure that it will not lead me anywhere. There are great long conversations that could go on for hours and he seems fine. But, I guess it is my problem. But, why not have fun at it? Totally agreed. LOL.

I guess that is all for now. I will be updating my blog soon, like in a day or two’s time despite my increasing workload. LOL. I will update my video conversation with my sister as well. As well as my progress with that guy, guy A, of course. LOL.

XOXO. By the way, Happy Birthday to my dear Sheng Hung. :)

Reason for Extreme Boredom and The Ice Queen of All Evil

2009-10-14T14:37:00.011+08:00

Results are out! But, cannot check. Dunno whether it is a good thing or not. LOL. Maybe God wants me to live in denial. Whatever la, I think it would be ok. I even went to the temple to pray just now. It is just a coincidence, ok? But it would make me sound like a good person.

I have finally found the main reason for my extreme boredom. Movies are like so predictable and stuff. There is this single pretty girl who is unlucky in love, bla bla bla. She meets this guy whom she cannot stand. They argue and stuff because they find themselves drawn to each other. In the end (surprise surprise), they end up together and live happily ever after with all their indifference settled. The same goes for chick lits as well, but the gals in chick lits are usually more unattractive. They could be overweight and stuff. And they would just have lost their job which they totally hate (but need to pay rent), they would have this best friend who looks like they have everything in order, job and they are getting married to this great guy. In the middle of the book, they would realise that their best friend is hiding something and it turns out that their life sucks too. Bla bla bla. Great. Life sucks.

As embarrassed as I can be, but I have to admit it. My extreme boredom is due to the non- existent human contact that I have with people who are not my family members and also the non- existent internet connection at home. Problem solved! You see, when I was in KL, even if I boycott almost everyone, I still talk to my housemates or something. That was why in my last week in KL (where 3 of my housemates went to Thailand, another went to Langkawi and the other was preparing for exam), I was feeling extremely restless. But now that I know the root of the reason, I am fine. I can just find another substitute for it or something.

I just realized what a fool I am. I actually posted my telephone number on Facebook. God. I might as well post my home address and what car my mother drives. Well, I got to know because this guy I was facebooking got my number from there. The good thing is that he is not a stalker. Otherwise, I am so DEAD! I can totally imagine the headline, “ UTAR student killed by stalker”. People would be like, “UTAR again! Haiyo, that time got rape case, now this one some more. But she posted her number online, she totally deserved it.” Then, I would tossing and turning in my grave because the whole Malaysia thinks that I am a dumbo. LOL. I am totally removing my number from there, btw. And to avoid me from tossing and turning in my coffin, I am asking for a cremation. But panas la. See how first. LOL.

I have decided that since I like to declare things so much, like “Birthday Month”, “Post- Birthday Month” and “Land of All Mothers”, I have decided to declare myself as “The Ice Queen of All Evil”. Sounds like ice cream some more. Yum yum. Yeah, I have submitted my application to the Malaysian government to declare my birthday as a public holiday. But chances are pretty slim, I think, since even Deepavali is not a public holiday. Maybe they will declare my birthday as a public holiday to mourn for the massive amount of death on 911. LOL. (Note to self: Buy myself a big shiny silver crown to be worn for my coronation in KLCC.) According to personal experience, I have discovered something great. Greater than the guy who made fire and created the wheel. Haha, I realized that weight is like the most important thing on Earth, along with appearance as well.

I am proud to say that I have lost 7kgs this year. Still pretty far from the weight that I really want. Yeah, another 40kgs and I can make it to the cover of Sport Illustrated. Yeah yeah, laugh at me. 7kgs ago, I cannot seem to get the attention that I want from the guys I want. 3kgs later, some guys started paying attention to me. Now, they seem to know who I am and they are giving me attention. Or am I just over obsessing? Anyway, guys and dating are just so overrated.

I think that I have managed to psycho myself to become an ice queen. Love is a chemical reaction which takes place in your brain and things. You know when you are on a diet, your brain tells you that you are hungry? Well, you can just ignore it and just not eat. I think I have managed to psycho myself into not liking guys anymore. Wuhu, I think I am greater than Einstein now. I was watching plenty of dramas when I realize that I was just looking at the girls, their hair, their shoes and stuff. Then, my sister asked me whether I like the cute guy from the drama, I realize that I do not care anymore. LOL. I am so going to be the next God. Or something like that. I am not going to be Virgin Mary though. She is just so sad and sex-less. She had to go through labor pain without going through the joys of sex. Poor thing. And the thing is people only remember about Jesus and God, nobody really prays to her. Except this small church that I heard of, which actually prays to her specifically. I am only giving up on marriage and relationship. Lust on the other hand... Never mind, let's just keep it on for a moment and see what happens.

The conclusion is that being skinny is very important. You can be single regardless of whether you are skinny or fat. If you are fat, people would think that nobody wants to date you, which is why you are single. But, if you are skinny, people would think that you are single because you chose to be single and that you are just picky.

Let us now take a moment and pray that Jun will be able to lose weight and stay single for a long long time, or forever if better. Amen. XOXO.

"Birthday Month" and "Post- Birthday Month"

2009-10-06T14:34:00.003+08:00

I finally finally changed my blog layout. Wuhu. I think I like this better. Dunno la. But got one vote saying that it is better. Must be Ah Wei. Well, I guess I chose this new layout because there was a sale label and the Lollipop thingy. I cannot believe that they close down the Lollipop handbags section in Times Square’s Metrojaya. Dun tell me I have to go all the way to Sunway to buy my bags now. Die.

This is the pair of Nine West boots I bought for myself a few days before I came back to Johor. I would trade my first born child with it. And then again, no one would want to have babies with me because they will end up fat, short talkative and probably go senile at the age of 20. Crap, I am 20. I must be senile.

Anyway, I officially declare September as birthday month. The good thing about birthday month is that you do not need to justify your purchase because it is a birthday present for myself and to reward myself for all the good things that I have done. No, I have not done any bad things (well, none that I want other people to know off), so there is no need for punishment. But, I realise that I have not finished shopping yet. Crap, and I am already back in Johor, The Land of Mothers, where your mother controls everything from your purchases to the way you sit. "Sit up straight, don't hunch, bla bla bla". It is always the same old thing, all the time.

It is a cycle every year, birthday month but because got exam, not enough time to shop but have to go back Johor already. Let me see, I have only bought two books, one top (cute red- Indian- like top), vest, Esprit Jeans (wuhu, esprit Jeans) and only two pair of boots. One from Nine West and one from Clark. Wuhu. Did I mention that one of them is from Nine West? Omg, I totally love Nine West. The solution for exams in the "Birthday Month" is to declare a "Post Birthday Month" on October. Then, I can shop to my heart's desire and not feel any guilt when I am shopping. Not that I am feeling guilt when I am shopping.

Anyway, there was a major earthquake of 7.9 in Sumatera on last Wednesday. Well, I usually would not care about things like that, but well, I felt the tremor in my condo in JB. It was just a slight tremor but it was pretty much fine since my mom, sis and I were pretty much calm. And then again, I would not scream hysterically or anything. But, I realise that I had no dying wish or whatever if anything were to happen at that time because I am pretty much happy with everything that is going on in my life. When I came back to Johor, I realise that I miss a few things in KL, there is:
a) my Nine West boots
b) internet access
c) Facebook
d) Youtube
e) TD download (or Xunlei), I have not been able to download the newest episode of Gossip Girl, 90210, How I Met Your Mother, Supernatural and House M.D.

Haha, but if I were really to die at the fake earthquake, there was pretty much nothing to get off my mind or anything. If I were with a certain guy at that moment, I would say, “ If I was capable of liking / crushing anyone at all, you would be the one. You are the closest thing right now.” And the rocks would come falling down covering us and all our bodies would be found 300 years later in some ruins and this story would go on forever. LOL.

I hate my housemates and my mom. Really. It turns out that she told my sister that about her suspicion about the existence my boyfriend. That would explain my aunt’s paranoia when she came and visit me last weekend. She asked why I did not bring my boyfriend out, I assume that she was talking my housemates since that is how she refers to them. It turns out she was talking about the “special someone” in my life, which is no one. Luckily, my sister told me the whole story. The thing is this, my mom came to visit me last Tuesday. Then, she asked my beloved housemates whether I was bullying them and stuff, they were laughing and stuffs, Then, the next question was about whether I have a bf. They were obviously stumped by the question, which led to a moment of silence (due to shock). But, my FBI- like mom assumed that they were hiding something from here. BODO. I am totally screwing my 5 housemates when I see them. Dumb. Stop assuming things la. I am angry with my housemates, I guess. Unless they get a vibrator for me in Thailand.

I am not spending my time constructively enough, I think. I am tired all the time as well. It must be the earthquake (great new excuse). But really, I just cannot seem to be getting enough sleep. To make things worse, I can only fall asleep after lying there for like 3 hours. Talk about wasting time.

By the way, I have made some plans for next semester, or rather 18th October. I am going to do my hair or at least get a haircut. If my GPA for this semester is above a certain benchmark (set by Jun), I might get it dyed or re-straighten. Otherwise… Tak payah harap. Then, I am going for two movies alone. No, I am not lonely or acting out. But, it is easier to go for movies alone. I totally wanna watch Surrogate, Sorority Row and Far Cry. For next semester, it will still be the same, study, shopping, movie, youtube, boycott all man (and woman)kind, series watching and less spending time/ energy/ money on other people.

I guess that is all. Pray for me for my GPA to be above that benchmark so that I can go do my hair. Wuhu. Happy (or not so happy because boring) Holidays!
XOXO

Rant on Man(and Woman)kind

2009-09-29T22:13:00.005+08:00

I am so bored with everything nowadays. Shopping, eating, movie/drama watching or reading does not seem to be able to interest me long enough. I think I should try sex out. LOL.

Let me just do a short rant about everything lately. Finals is over... Wuhu. But, that does not mean that I am not going to study during my semester. I do not want to be like some people who cries over spilt milk when results come out but they would repeat that same mistake over and over again. And some people would be like, "Of course I care about my grades, I would love to study but I have no time because I have to go party, shopping and stuff. No time." I learnt something this year, well, if you want something, you would have to work hard for it. Life is unfair, I agree. Some people just do not seem to have to work as hard as you to get something. Life is unfair, deal with it. Or else... die la. It is an easier path. I have decided that I am going to live this life for myself and myself only. Do not do something for the sake of others. It is too troublesome and not worth it at all.

Here, I would like to thank a few friends of making me realise that. No, do not get me wrong. I am grateful to God for letting me meet everyone that I have in this life (no matter how good or bad they are). It is like what my mom has told me when I was really little. If you do not go through bad stuffs, how would you that what you are going through now is good? Makes sense right. All my life, I have thought that it is ok to spend money for people you liked (or even for people you do not like). Not just money but also everything else, energy, time, etc etc. That was when these past two years has been a great eye opener for me. I treat people that I like with good intentions, I would give them everything. For example, if my best friend was having an awful day with her boyfriend, I would treat her to a movie/ spa or whatever to get her mind off it, to make it easier. If you lose your purse, I would readily treat you for a few meals or lent you money to make it easier for you. Then, I would realise, what I have done for this people are not things that they would do in return. Because I realise that these people are the ones who want me to pay the cab fare all by myself if I were to catch my cheating boyfriend. Well, because he is my boyfriend. That is why I have to pay the cab fare. Plus, they are pretty nice for not asking me to pay them for company already rite? Well, it is ok. I do not regret befriending them one bit. That is because they made me realise and learn more things about this world.

Since I am here talking about friends, let me talk about them for another paragraph or so. In the beggining of this year, I have like 4-5 of them where I would not mind spending time, energy and money on them. But, now, let's just say that I can keep my time, energy and money on myself. I might seem bored right now, but trust me, I am working on it. I think I may have found something to keep me company. I have done a few things that I am proud of (as a friend) for them. But, later, suprise suprise. I realise that they would not have done the same for me. I spent a whole day comforting a friend of mine when she went through her breakup. I did everything, dinner, movie and stuff. Ok, that sounded lesbian. LOL. But, that was what I did. I let her grief, talk/ listen to her. But, when I went through my breakup (assuming that I had a bf), she totally ignored me because she thinks that nobody needs to comfort a person who brokeup. Why do people who breakup needs comforting? Well, you did. And if anything of that sort happens to you again, you can safely assume that I would not respond to your calls.

Enough of friends ranting. I am tired of people asking if I have a bf or whatever. My aunt, mom, friend and strangers should start asking me that. I do not have a bf. And I can see that it will stay that way for the next 2 years. Why? Well, honestly, I think that relationships are for stupid people but I cannot tell that to people who I just met. They would either think that:
a) I am a lesbian
b) I am weird
c) I am stupid

Yeah, I think I am too smart to get a bf. So what, I win. Currently, I am dating freely. Like a bird. Ok, maybe a bird soar freely or whatever. LOL. Just look at the pic at the bottom, isn't it better to have a fling or something rather than settle down. I am still young anyway. :) I can just do whatever with whoever I want. Life is just so great.

Enough about talking about friends and guys, let us talk about JUn here. I am totally sure of what style I wanna for. I am so going for the bad girl. Boots, vest and jackets. Think of vampires and girls who would hop up behind a Harley bike. That is the kind of look I am going for. I just bought the cutest pair of Nine West boots last Sunday. Really cute. Maybe I would need a new bag. But, well, I might get it when I see one that I finally like.

Lately, I have been watching movies and series so much that I have trouble keeping track of what I have watched. For movies, I have watched:
a) A Perfect Getaway
b) Accident
c) The Ugly Truth
d) Where Got Ghost?

The only thing left to watch in the cinema is Tsunami but I realise that it would not be much fun. Accident and A Perfect Getaway sucked to the max. Definitely the 2 worse films that I have watched this year. And I have watched the two of them in 3 days time. Crap. Then, I also watched Vampire Diaries, Heroes, 90210, House M.D., The L Word, Gossip Girl, etc etc. Dun remember, but who cares. I am all out for trying out new things as well. I tried out playing snooker that day, haha, had plenty of fun making of myself in the process. BUt it was ok. And I learnt that dancing for two to three hours will make your thighs ache for 3-4 days.

I guess that is all. I am going back to JOhor tomo, going to be MIA for 3 weeks or so, if anyone cares. XOXO

End of Y2S1

2009-09-05T13:25:00.008+08:00

LOL, Jane. Coach is affordable too. I might just buy one myself, soon. It turns out that I do not have the capability of affording an LV bag. Never mind, I will just wait first. It is not like I am desperate to own one.

This video really sucks man. After watching it, I am really considered going vegetarian. No, there was no killing of animal and then blood splattering like in Final Destination 4. But, I really cannot give up eggs for the time being, it is like the only thing in life that I look forward to when I am eating my Maggi mee. When I am at home, I do not cook/ eat meat. When I go out, I try to not take meat as well. Of course, there is the occasional meat consuming day. In the school cafeteria, I take the chee cheong fun or the porridge, where there is no meat. Maybe there is meat in the porridge, I do not know. I still take sushi and stuff but I am trying to cut down.

Crap, the video can't load. Crap, I ter-close the window. Never mind. You all just imagine it or go to meat.org la. Seriously, that is the URL.

This video really helps in promoting vegetarianisme (if there is such a word).

Anyway, study week is starting next Monday. I guess it has started unofficially last Thursday since my class ended last Wednesday. Anyway, this semester has at a rather quick pace. But, at least, I did fine for most of coursework, I would say. Much better than the sarky previous semester. I guess I should do a semester review right now. In the beggining of the semester, Shu Mei was my partial roommate. We would do girly girls stuff in the first few weeks of school, like organising Skirt Day, Bright Shirt Day and stuff. Well, those things are the ones that I cannot do with 5 other housemates. LOL. In the mid of the semester, I went out with my housemates a lot to watch movies and stuff. Other things are quite blurry. In the end of the semester, dunno. Sudah lupa. Spent a lot of time on youtube (watching Goosebumps and Michelle Phan's make-up tutorial), watching TV dramas. I actually managed to watch Gossip Girl, 90210, How I Met Your Mother 3 and 4, Prison Break and Desperate Housewives. Now I know where my time went.

Life is going quite ok, I guess. My studying progress is fairly great. I think I am able to do fine this semester. For the next semester, I am going to invest in leggings. I bought this pair of nice boot- like shoes from Clark that day. It is extremely comfy and cute. Mine is in black though. Got the pic from E-bay. I can just walk around in this all day.

I guess this is the effect of watching things like Gossip Girl. You will like things like that. Hopefully, I can start dressing like this next semester. Yeah, maybe we need to take care about the fat part. I only managed to lose like 3 kgs this sem. Ew. I am on a diet now. Hopefully, by the end of September, I will drop another 2 kgs. Otherwise, I am going to be a fat cow. Crap. But, I believe with daily swimming, studying and eating crap-like food till end of September can do the trick. To whoever who is reading this, please pray for my exam starting on September 11 (I know, life sucks, and it has sucked for the 3rd year now) and also my diet. Amen.

Let me show off something first. You all know, like when you are in a bar or something and then people would buy you drinks. Well, someone bought me a handroll that day when I was a Yo! Sushi. I am officially un-ugly. Wuhu that is all I guess. Till then. XOXO. Gossip girl.

(P.S. Final Destination 4 sucked. Part 2 is like so much better.)

LV or no LV???

2009-08-28T23:09:00.003+08:00

Let me put my dilemma in a story, let’s assume that everyone has an LV bag. A RM4,500 LV bag. It is extremely fashionable thing to have and everyone just have it. Like this one here..

One day, a fat girl named Jun is given an opportunity to own an LV bag. Jun does not like LV (I told you this is fiction) and definitely does not need one. This bag is a fake LV bag, but it looks like the one that costs RM10,000.

It looks exactly the same outside, you will only realize that it is fake if you open the zip and look inside where there is another zipped compartment where there is a “FAKE” written all over it. So, the only people who would know about it is me and maybe a few friends. I used to tell people that people who used fake LV bags are so cheap and should just use quality stuff. Otherwise, you would be able to tell the difference. People would know that you live a great life with LV’s and stuff but you would know the truth. But in my case here, I know that I do not require or like the LV that that much, and it is merely for show. So, should I take the plunge?

I will update my blog soon. By the way, please do the survey on the right, please.. Tata.
(P.S. LV or no LV?)

Movies Movies and Movies

2009-08-10T19:01:00.008+08:00

Well, well, Wei Chyi, I will hiao you when I am free. Probably in study week then. I plan on sleeping in an hour's time (at 8pm). And yes, I will cook for you Ah Wei and hopefully, I will continue blogging.

I am having a major headache now. Hopefully, I do not have H1N1. No time to deal with it now. Anyway, there was another 8 deaths today. But according to a very smart minister, Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam said that personnel at Malacca Hospital had been doing their best to allay fear about the H1N1 virus, with some staff being recalled to do triple shifts.

“I urge people not to panic although there have been several deaths related to the virus." You can read the whole article at http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/8/10/ah1n1flu/4472770&sec=ah1n1flu . Yeah, for example, there have been several rape cases going on to UTAR. But I urge you all not to panic. It is probably just a hormonal charged guys. Yeah right.

I have watched a total of four movies last week. Totally fulfilling my destiny to be the greatest movie buff in Malaysia, I think. There are still like a few shows (current and upcoming ones) like The Proposal, Final Destination, Ghost of Girlfriends Past and a few more that I forgot. When I told my mom that I went to the cinema once last week (I did not lie, I omit), she told me to stay at home as much until the H1N1 thingy clears. She said, " If a person coughs/ sneeze in the cinema, the whole audience in the hall will die. If she knows how many times I was there last week, I will surely be slaughtered like a chicken. I actually watched two movies last Friday with Yee Yyn. Due to the confusion about the venue between me and my housemates, the both of us went to Pavillion while they were in KLCC.

It was pretty action packed and stuff. The one liners are great too. But not enough oomph la. The part where they wore the accelerator suit was pretty great. The lead character was pretty cute too. except that I do not like guys anymore. Jane says that I need to go for some kind of brainwash talk in order to let me like guys again. I also watched Overheard.

There was Louis Koo, Lau Ching Wan (dunno his English name) and Daniel Wu. I used to love Daniel Wu a lot. Like I could marry him that kind of like. But, I totally forgot to pay attention to him during the movie. I was looking at the other characters more. The movie was very good, I would say. Hong Kong movies are totally getting better and better nowadays. My weekend was filled with the joys of studying and revising. Very non- eventful.

By the way, having a boyfriend rocks, you can scream at him 24/7 (even if you do not like screaming, you can just do so, and say that he is irritating you. I guess that is all. I need to sleep now.

(P.S. My new layout did not appear. Wait till the end of the semester la. )

New Layout and Summary

2009-08-06T18:57:00.001+08:00

I have not updated my blog since forever. In fact, when I saw my blog layout and things, I did not like it anymore. I guess I have to redo the layout and things like that. Anyway, life has pretty ok lately, I guess. I am grateful for all the things that I have but I am also more grateful for the things that I do not have. This semester has been a big change for me, really big change. When you think that you cannot change anymore, you will find yourself going through a bigger change. Let's see the things that has changed this semester: a) I dyed my hair red b) I have only went out shopping thrice this semester, and it is already week 9. In the first semester last year, I would have gone to KLCC for at least 9 times at this time if I do not count my visits to the other shopping malls. Ok, so maybe I have gone to KLCC twice this week to watch movies (or rather Pelham 123 and Land of the Lost) at night with my housemates, but really non-existent shopping. I am going again tomorrow to watch GI Joe. c) my best friend is YouTube. I realise something important as well. I do not hang out much with Ning Xin, Ah Wei and Yee Yyn.The time that I have saved up is enough for me to study and watch plenty of YouTube. d) I am using way less money now (due to my non existent shopping or eating). e) I have only bought one bag, and one bag only this semester. No shoes, clothes or whatever. f) I can cook now, not very very well like a qualified Cordon Bleu chef, but enough for me to not starve to death if I were to be stuck inside my condo. But, I ONLY COOK for people I like. If I do not like you, tak payah harap. g) I am eating crap like food most of the time. At uni, eat chee cheong fun only. Cold and non oil. At home, cereal with milk and banana. Taste pretty good to me, but if you tell someone who likes fast food, they will probably say, "Ew". h) My favorite swear word/phrase are: 'Soh_i' and Fark a dark. Totally good to be used in any situations. Today is the second last day of week 10, I guess, since it is Thursday and the weekends probably does not count, since we do not go to school then. And we will be studying in our weekends like zombie. Week 12 is the end of the world. I have 3 tests, and presentation then. FARK a DARK. I guess that is pretty much it. Just thought that I would better update my blog so that I can tunjuk perasaan for a while. I should probably update my pics soon. I By the way, eating crap like food is good, I have managed to go down by 2 jeans sizes this year. Wuhu. I am planning to go down another one if not two this year. Wish me luck on eating more of such food. By the way, I so very hope that I can get a bf soon. When you are coupling, you are allowed to cry 2-3 times a day. Really, happens 2 out of 2 cases. If I am just crying because I failed my test, people would be like, "It passed already. Why are you still crying? It has already been a few days." But, if you are in a relationship, people would be like, " Poor thing. She is still having trouble with her bf." Yeah, that is why I want to have a bf. To everyone who is reading; Please pray for Jun to get a bf.

Changing Times

2009-05-20T14:26:00.002+08:00

In the world of fashion, we know that nothing lasts. Designers, fashion and seasons come and go. But when I was in the bus the other day, the idea struck me. What about guys? Since it is common to find househusbands, it is not such a shock to see guys taking over women’s emotional role in the relationship.

As we often see in drama (outdated, obviously) and also in some girls who seriously do not live for themselves, females are often portrayed in the light where they are depressed when they cannot:
a) find a boyfriend
b) get a guy to call her back
c) get a guy to commit or whatever
They would do whatever, to get a boyfriend in their 20’s and start looking for some husband material guy in their late 20’s and con him into thinking that he wants her to spend the rest of the life together.

But open your eyes and you realize that those are things of the 90’s. The girls of the new millennium dislike commitment and things like that. Take the example of Jun. Ok, confession time, I had one and one boyfriend before. When I lost him, I thought that I have to find a replacement… ASAP. But now, I have to terms with living with myself. Life is good, like what LG promises. Thank God, I am single. Seriously, I have been looking at couples around me and I have to say, “ I am just so glad that I am not in any kind of relationship”. I can just do whatever I wish and not care about his views or whatever. Seriously, they are not living for themselves, GET A LIFE… Look around and you will see stupid couples:
a) quarreling over stupid things
b) engaging in activities that they hate because the other party just loves it
c) messaging/ calling/ reporting to each other to make sure that the other party is not caught by UFO/ aliens/ rapists/ ISA
d) thinking/ obsessing why the other party did not contact him/ her
e) thinking/ pining for the other person
f) spending money to buy things for the other party
g) advising or rather nagging the other party from doing something. (If I wanted to get excessive nagging, I would just call up my mum and tell her exactly how much I am spending)
h) raking their brains to think about what to buy for the other party for Valentine’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and things like that. Seriously. Just save up that money and you will be able to buy plenty of stuffs for yourself. Like Jun.

In the 90’s, we often see guys playing girls feelings just so that they can get laid or whatever. Nowadays, some girls are using guys for their car/ knowledge/ money/ fun/ reduce boredom or whatever reasons. You will see that girls now are just looking around for fun, nothing serious and definitely not commitment. Nowadays, you will see guys:
a) calling girls
b) desperately getting them to return their calls
c) asking them out
d) thinking/ pining/ obsesssing about them
e) crying over girls they like while girls would not bat an eyelid when they have to break up with their boyfriends

I am beginning to almost feel sorry for the guys. Almost. But I cannot care less. Seriously. And I am beginning to hate couples. NOTE to my outstanding friends (probably less than 5 of them), if you want to be in a relationship with the special someone or whatever, please do, you will be doing a good deed in reducing the number of single guys in the street, but PLEASE…. PLEASE DO NOT COME TO ME WHEN YOU GET A BREAKUP. NO. I do not care if you thought that he/ she was The One. You thought that you guys were gonna get married, have 5 kids, have a nice house with plenty of household animals to fill in between the laughter of your noisy 5 children. I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN. Please do not come crying to me when you guys break up or when you are pregnant. If you need money for abortion, NO, I will not lend it to you. I prefer to take the moeny, buy some popcorn and then eat it while watching the drama about you. If you are unhappy because I said this, feel free to terminate your friendship with me. No, you do not need to send a letter/ message/ e-mail or anything. I do not care. I am a self obsessed, materialistic, whining bitch. But, I am happier than you are.

Although times are changing, wake up la! There are still guys who make use of you. Do not expect me to tell it in your face that your boyfriend or the guy that is currently courting is just making use of you. Seriously. If this girl is using this guy and vice versa, I guess it is mutualisme, like what we learnt in Form 3. I so totally understand why we learn science in school now. I will not stand by my friends when they have problems now. I will stand near them and be up to date with the current affairs/ storyline/ gossip.

I guess that is all, I will update about my ‘friends’ on my next entry. Tata and happy coupling to those fools in love. Please do continue to believe in love, otherwise, I will have to eat my popcorn while watching Desperate Housewives, which is less interesting than the real life drama involving my so called 'friends'.

(P.S. If anyone thinks that I am bitter because I cannot get a boyfriend, seriously, get a life!)

Toys, toys, toys for a 20 Year Old

2009-04-04T21:57:00.006+08:00

I am not talking about sex toys, ok? So do not worry.. This entry is not censored or banned in some countries. Haha.

Rebecca, or should I call you Becky? Haha, are you sure you are ok if you go to the clinic like all the time? Take good care of yourself... so that you can suffer in uni. Haha. The Confessions of a Shopaholic is just ok ok, no need to go to cinema la. Haha, memang boyz are better. Maybe we both should learn to gossip about people in front of them. I think I am suceeding already. Nowadays, I have no qualms on speaking my mind in front of people.

March has been an ok month. I bought a few toys, or rather things for myself. Ok, maybe quite a lot of things, but they are all fun things like:
a) my extremely high black platform from Eclipse. Hear the name also know it is cool already. Though Ah Wei says that I walk like a penguin in it.

b) lovely pencil case. The last one is almost dead.
c) straight hair. When the wind blows, straight hair falls back into place and I look less crappy, according to Ah Wei.
d) clock that needs to be whine once in two days. Btw, it runs slower by 10 minutes everyday. Shit. Everytime when I go back to Johor or whatever, I need to leave my clock and ask my housemate to whine it. It is like, please water my plants when I go out. Damn damn.
e) my Nike bag, can put laptop some more. A real bargain
f) my hairdryer that can produce a steady, if not heavy hot and cold air. Woo hoo.
g) my Esprit sunglasses. No chance to wear it yet though.
h) my Nike bottle. Yeng.
i) my strawberry butter from The Body Shop that smells absolutely divine. The night moisturiser is great too. Since it is water based, it is NOT oily at all. And also the mascara from Body Shop, totally great. Better than the Maybeline telescopic thingy.
i) my jumping Devil Dog, ok, so I bought 2, one for my cousin and one Kenji. So, it does not count as something I bought for myself, right?
So, maybe I bought a little too many things for myself. I promise that I will not buy a lot of things again.. Until Friday because I will be going out with Yee Yyn then. Haha. Let’s see, I have basically bought everything that I want, I have enough heels, shoes and pants. Maybe a new handbag from Lollipops, new jacket or clothes would be nice. My hair seem to be weird with the clothes from last time. I need a new wardrobe! Haha. Hopefully, I will be watching, “He is Not That Into You” with Yee Yyn next week. See how la. Well, according to Ah Wei aka Jun’s shrink, she says that I am shopping to de-stress. I did not realise that but after thinking for roughly 10 seconds, I realize that she has a point. But what to do, if I do not shop, I will end up killing someone or something even more brutal. I think that I am going to start studying while crying from next semester at the rate that things in school are going. Seriously, things are very very difficult now. Shit.

If anyone of you all thinks that I have a problem with shopping and things like that, then you all should watch the Confessions of a Shopaholic. After watching the movie, you will find that I am pretty much similar to her spending ways, but I am still a minor (for now). For those that have not read the book or watch the movie, here is a small intro about the movie. The movie’s lead actress, Rebecca Bloomwood, or rather known as Becky is well, obviously, a shopaholic. But still, she is just so bloody cute.

She has bad financial planning (worse than Jun, yippee), and has a massive credit card debt. On the way to her new job interview, she actually “accidentally” went into a shop that was having a sale. Being broke, very broke, she had to swipe like 5 cards to buy this really great 90 pound green scarf. She even runs out to the newspaper stall outside and ask if they would take her cheque of 40 pounds in exchange for cash. That was when a guy actually gives her the money and she managed to get the scarf. She even told the guy that the scarf is for her ailing Aunt Emintrude in the hospital. After plenty of obstacles, she managed to get to the interview and the interviewer is none other than the guy who gave her the money just now. He is none other than Luke aka the lead actor. Woo hoo. Luke actually asks her about her aunt and she actually told him that she DIED. Haha. Then, there is this scary/stern debt collector, Derek Smeath who is tracking Becky because of her credit card debt. She has been giving excuses to banks all over the place. Among the excuses that she gave includes:
a) got asked to join the army
b) broke her leg
c) still in Finland
d) hospitalized due to some disease

It is a pretty ok movie to get a good laugh from. For the girls, you can just go to watch all the nice, gorgeous, pointy heels. Not to mention the bags. Haha. The guys can also go and look at Isla Fisher aka Becky, who looks cute throughout the movie. After watching the movie, I learnt that… we should just shop and not care about other things. Or like what Becky says, which has some truth in it, “When I shop, the world seems to be better.“

After months of hating SUC (Stupid Ugly Cow), I learnt to open my eyes and ears. Then only did I realise that there is at least another fella to hate. Shit. This fella is totally insincere towards 9/10 of his/her friends. Cannot mention the gender here. Sensitive. Make stupid/snide/sarcastic remarks that you think you will only see in those shows like Gossip Girl or Mean Girls. Haiyo. Never mind la, that person will get retribution from God Almighty. I shall name her Mr/Ms Pretentious, for short that person will be MP.

I guess that is all. I have to study now. Tata..

Great Life

2009-03-30T22:43:00.003+08:00

Thanks for your comment Rebecca. Haha, it is actually ok to stay with 5 guys. The pros definitely outweighs the cons though. Hope that you are doing well in school. How’s form 5 life?

Oh my god. I definitely have a new hobby right now. And it does not end my obsession with activities that starts with the letter 'S'. Singing-k. 3 of my beloved housemates took me to Neway to sing k last Wednesday. Well, there was an upcoming test on Friday but there was going to be a disturbance on the electricity at my place, so they decided to go there last minute. I have wanted to go sing k since like.. forever. Last semester, Ning Xin told me to go do so, because it is absolutely fun. But, I was staying in PJ at that time, how to do so with her? Then, there was Yee Yyn who always ended up singing k every time I went home or something. I think she and her whole class secretly hates me. Haha. Other than the awful shouting that day, things were pretty great. Who knew getting stuck with 3 guys in a small room for 4 hours would be so fun. Haha. Just kidding. It sounds so wrong though.

Lately, I am so used to going out with a bunch of guys. Seriously, who else I wanna go out with when it is not a school day? Ok, sometimes with Ning Xin (the only gal) but still it is the guys from my house most of the time. Not that I am complaining or anything, haha. It is great that people carry your shopping and things like that. I can probably list down like a hundred benefits, if not a thousand. Among a few better ones include:
a) they carry your books/things/shopping/heavy things for you because you are a girl
b) they let you use the toilet for a long long time without a whine because you are a girl and you would need more time in there than them. If other girls waited for a little while when you are inside, chances are you would get screamed at
c) they would ask whether you would like to join them whenever they go out, because you are girl and do not mix with them that often, so a formal invitation is extended every time
d) they do not talk bad about you in the back, they do it in the front. Good? Definitely, whereas girls would try to run to your back and start all the gossiping
e) they will not follow you everywhere unlike female housemates
f) they will not try to get gossip/ rumours and bad news from you. Okay, maybe not that often then.
g) the more you mingle with them, the more you will know about how guys think
There are also a few disadvantages of course. Like that time they asked me if I was already ok in the salon, I was so scared that they would all go there and the whole world would think that I am the leader of some underworld gang or something. Plus, if I go out with 5 guys, people will speculating which guy my boyfriend is. Or worse, I am those kind flirtatious cows who hangs with 5 guys. Shit. The only way to solve this problem is to grow fairer and skinnier. Then, maybe I can pass off as Jacky’s sister or something. Maybe it would not look that bad then.

I had a major crying marathon yesterday at 4 pm or so. Like major major crying that lasted for like 30 minutes. I was so afraid the whole time that my housemates would come knocking on my door because I was so loud. 5 months of tears just gushing out. Like the wall of a dam was broken or when Titanic was sinking. I was not feeling suicidal though. I even finished my whole box of tissue. I was talking to my mom and she told me that she was going to pray on the next weekend for Cheng Meng and then I started crying like someone died or something. L I am supposed to be ok already by now. Shit. But at least it is not in public. Note to self: DO NOT CRY LIKE A COW. It would lead to a severe migraine the next day and you will not be able to go to school.

Jane came over to KL for the weekend and I saw her on Saturday and Sunday. We played the whole day in 1U. I did not buy much things but ended up using a hell lot of money, again. Shit. On Sunday, we went to KLCC for a bit before she met up with her sister. I enjoyed her company a lot and I think I like her even more. She is now mature and realistic, not that she was neither of those things in the past. But, I think she have seen her fair share in uni these two years. And experience some backstabbing and stuff. I think that she will be successful in life at the rate she is going. She is pretty and she knows about social obligations and stuff. Which guy would not die because of her? Haha. Life may be hard, but we should not ponder too much about it to the extend that you become suicidal. OMG. I also witnessed a Burberry sale at Isetan KLCC. 80% discount!!! But, I still could not afford anything. There was a jacket that caught my eye, but after the 80% discount, it was like RM800. I did not like it that much. Btw, those bags, genuine bags are damn heavy. I do not think that normal people would be able to carry it around without proper training. Haha. I shall study hard to make it in life (so that I can afford everything I want in life). Seriously, the sale was right there but I could not do anything. I felt bad. L
I also managed to catch the Shopaholic movie with her. I would say that it is pretty fun but I prefer the book though. Note to self: Never never like the leading male character in any books. Unless it is like James Stewart aka the writer of your calculus text book. Or if you end up directing/ casting the movie. I was expecting Luke to be really great. Tall, smart, handsome, tall, funny, tall. Did I mention tall? At the end, I thought he was ok, but still I imagined him to be all great and… tall. No, I am not obsessed with tall people. The movie was pretty great and stuffs. I will be writing a review on it soon. Haha, watch out for it.

By the way, Ning Xin is definitely a good friend. She:
a) lends me plenty of money without worrying that I would run away
b) criticize my apperance constructively, so that I would know what to do if I have enough money for plastic surgery
c) ta pao tong sui for me
d) tell me that someone has been talking bad about me
e) did not make noise when she followed me to Miko for me to do my hair for like 2 hours. But she did take awful pictures though. Haha.
f) offered to take me home as it looked like it was going to rain.
g) helped me bought a Nike bag (that I wanted) from Genting
I guess that is more than enough reasons for her to make it to the good friends list.

That is all for now. Tata.

Materialistic Cow

2009-03-24T17:23:00.007+08:00

Darn.. I thought and saved my post. Anyway, I have not updated my blog like forever. I think I have evolved so much that I should change the title of my blog now. Langsung do not care about boys anymore nowadays. If I see a naked guy walking around, I probably would not blink. Seriously, because the of amount of swimming I do nowadays, I would not care even if a cuter guy than Benjamin Button walked topless in front of me. Plus, I live with five guys nowadays. For those that does not know, I am staying with five guys right now. If you want to make any dig head comment or anything, feel free to do so. I DO NOT care. You think I would give a damn about a tiny naked guy? Seriously.. Boys are so last year. The in-things now are:
a) the Nike bag I saw in Genting
b) the yellow Nike bag I saw in Genting
c) Guess shoes
d) Jun
e) studying
f) swimming=losing weight

I have gotten more direct nowadays, rather than beating around the bush. I would ask (loudly) if someone is unhappy with something that Idid openly to the extend that the person would be so shocked and not say anything at all. If you hate me, whatever la. Life is tough enough with everything. If you hate me, please.. DO BOYCOTT ME. Do not talk to me. That way, I can have more time to spend with me, myself and I. Then, I can go shopping, study, sleep, swim or something else that starts with the letter 'S'. No sex though。Haha. Seriously, and the for the few people who has been irritating me, I am warning you to stop it, or else if I say "F" or "N" in front of you and mean it, you are screwed. I am NOT going to talk to you ever again. Yeah, yeah, what if I do not have any friends anymore. :( I will have to spend my free time alone.. shopping. Poor me.

In the past, I think that you are a messed up/ scr**ed up person if you have issues. I think everyone has issues nowadays. Or maybe I think so because I have issues. Seriously. Nothing seems to interest me anymore, except material things. Labels or Love? I would have picked the latter last year. NOw? Haha, the answer is pretty obvious isn't it? Yes, I am a materialistic cow, well, you can choose to be the person who is a marthyr, loving, giving and self sacrificing. Just do not come crying looking for me when you do not have any money left from all the good things that you have done.

I have heard some pretty messed up things about myself recently. It kept ringing in my head the last few days. But I suddenly realised, I have been gossiping so much about people in the past, so there itis only fair if I receive the same type of retribution. Plus, I do not care la. Do what you feel like doing la. My new motto is, "Do not take life too seriously, nobody ever gets out alive." Otherwise, they would have published it all around Wall Street Journal or Playboy magazine.

I think that is all, I am feeling a little crappy today, because I lostmy contacts in my eyes. After I spent half an hour sticking my hands in my eyes, I finally found it in the inner side of my eyes. By the way, I accidentally straighten my hair last Saturday. I am making the next statement to one person in specific, if you terasa, go die la, I would not mind, at all. " If you think that you are prettier and smarter than me, go ahead. Ask anyone to proof you right la. Stupid ugly cow, thanks for the comment, and have a good life thinking that you are pretty and smart. " I am angry with this person? (Shocked face!) Langsung tak ada.

Please complete the poll beside so that I noe how you all feel about my new hair. Thanks.

New Year Resolution

2009-01-04T00:45:00.003+08:00

I have put off having New Year resolution since I was like 14 or so. Every time I try to do it in the year end, I would think that new year resolutions should only be done in the new year. Then, when it is like 5th or 6th January, I would think that it is already too late to have New Year resolutions. Anyway, these are twelve things that I must try to get to this year.

12. Spend less on food, or rather expensive food
I should definitely spend less of food on the following year, so that I can buy more clothes, bags, shoes and scarves. At least these things will last longer than the food. Plus, you will lose weight in the process. Totally must try to do that. I think I might just have to boycott Yee Yyn in order to do that.

11. Lose weight, (really lose weight)
Since there is a pool and gym at my new place, it should not be that hard to achieve

10. Study harder than last year
Since I do not have a roommate now, I would be able to psycho myself into studying all the time. Hopefully, I will be studying and studying and I will not know the existence of things like the Internet, dramas and MSN. Then, I will just study

9. Keep more things to myself
Although I have already improved in this section tremendously this year, I will still try to improve more on it, until I become better or as good as Ah Wei. But I guess sharing with people most of the time has it’s risk and can lead to gossiping.

8. Show less emotion
If you show less emotion, people will tend to think that you are cooler and stronger. I have managed to not show fear, surprise and anger. Maybe I can omit and not show a few more emotions next year. Something like Bree Van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives.

7. Get good grades, if not great grades
With adequate amount of studying, that should not be a big problem.

6. Not to cry in front of other people
From now onwards, I will be going to cinema alone more often.. to cry. Not only this is better since people would not know you are crying, you get to watch all the latest movies. I have cried like in front of everyone I know this year. Malu saja. If I do get married, people would be telling my husband about what a great crier I am. If people at the cinema do hear me crying, they would think that the movie is so great to have induced people tears. Unless it is a comedy, of course. Then people would start calling the asylum to come take me away.

5. Buy myself everything that I like
Since I will be studying and fully focused on my resolutions and goals, I do not see why I should not pamper myself, since I can do so. Unless it is the nice Volkswagen Beetle that just passed me by a second ago.

4. Do things faster and do it perfectly
I should probably spend less time in front of the computer but be more active on the online world. Not just that, but I should try to multitask and do everything faster. I am being a little slow.

3. Learn how to entertain big crowds
All these while, I have never been great in talking and speaking in front of big crowds. Since we are stepping out into the society soon, this skill will be essential.

2. Learn Korean
I might as well spend my time doing that since I love the language and the drama. If Kwon Sang Woo (the actor from Cruel Love and Stairway to Heaven) ends up getting divorce, I would be able to marry him and communicate with him effectively in Korean.

Last but not least,
10. Lose fewer things
I have lost at least three things that I remember of this year. Hopefully¸ I will be more careful with my possessions from now on and not be so blur all the time.

(P.S. I have actually compiled this list on 1st January, but due to the non-existent telephone line, I have only managed to publish my blog entry now. )

2008, I Lost My Laptop, Purse and My Daddy

2008-12-31T19:18:00.011+08:00

It has been a long and tiring year, generally. People may have think that time flies (which I agree), but we have actually done so many things already. Let’s talk about the things that I still remember doing, haha, month by month.

Anyway, I would like to apologize if any of my close friend have to find out about it like this, I am still trying to inform you all properly. It is not like school teaches us the proper way to inform other people about things like that. I did not realise that I lose so many things this year. Haha. I guess 2 out of 3 is part of my stupidity.

January
I went to Uncle Chim’s son’s wedding on 27th January, a couple of days after I completed my final exams for my second semester of foundation. It was pretty fun and I got to see a great looking guy. Life was still simple then, and I would be moaning about my single life and Uncle Chim even offered to find me someone.

February
During Chinese New Year, my family and I went for a trip to Hainan, China for a holiday. Before that I was in Johor for a while, I managed to see Wen Ni, Jane and Su Lin. I had not seen them for a while and I was happy to see them after so long.

It was pretty great and was the first time I went to China. We saw some very interesting things there and it was very very cold, only 8 degree Celcius at night. Haha, I finally felt the first time in my life.

March
I started my last semester of foundation a week or two after my Chinese New Year. I had plenty of fun during the whole semester because I know that it would be last time I would be studying with some of my friends. Plus, after getting to know most of them for nearly a year now, you would feel free to tell them almost any and everything. Silly me, now only I understand that there are some things that you should keep to yourself.

I spent quality time with Jo Vyn. We got to know each other better around August the year before. I decided that I would like her a lot since last year but did not have much chance to play with her. During this semester, this month especially, I went for my first facial with her, makan with her and laughed a lot about silly things. Mostly gossiping. She even went with me to get my first contacts. After half and hour of endless tries to jab my eye open while putting the contacts lens in, I apologize and she said she would never miss this opportunity to see me suffer like that. Haha.

April and May
I do not recall much happening to me in those two months. Oh, I went for the class trip to Genting, it was a pretty lovely trip. I guess that was how my shopping addiction started. Haha.

Plus, that was the first time that I went clubbing.

Haha. I also got my first laptop.

June
I moved to KL at the end of the month and totally became addicted to shopping. Haha. Huey Wen was my roommate and Olivia was my housemate. I did not make many many new friends at school, maybe I was not as friendly as before.

I became quite close with Ah Wei and I know that I can tell her things without worrying that she would tell someone else when I turn my head. Haha.

July
I became pretty close with Kheng Zie and Ning Xin. Used to be ok ok with Kenji, now I would say pretty close. I did not have much chance to play with Ning Xin in Kampar. Spent pretty much of time in KL with her. Even watched The Happening. Haha, great show with people committing suicide all the time.

I met some nice people in the house in Damansara, Queenie and Sharon who moved in on July. Plus, the girls who used to live there are great as well. Oh, I lost my laptop because I left it lying in my room when I went back to Kampar. Sh**.

August
A friend of mine told me that my back is bleeding badly. Turns out that I have been majorly backstabbed. Very painful, was in the “Backstabbing Hospital” for a month. Haha.

Never mind, at least, I have been backstabbed once. Now I know and will not do something like that to other people. I have even tried to curb my gossiping habit to the very minimal value.
I went to play with Ning Xin in 1U, very great.

I bought a very nice pair of black Nike’s, it is not that difficult to match clothes with. My other pair, bought in January is in blooming maroon. Very hard to match clothes with, unless you are wearing a red t or pants everyday. Haha.

My dad came to visit me in KL, I wonder if it was a spot-check.

September
This was the study week, but I went to school to… make new friends, rather than study. Haha, I got to know Joseph and Yee Loong. Plus, I got to know Yee Yyn, David and Olivia better. Yee Loong became my brother (I dunno he is my 2nd or 3rd brother, since Wen Ni is a girl, I dunno if she should be my brother) while Yee Yyn became my loyal shopping kaki. We have been to Mid Valley, Sungei Wang and Times Square together. The shopping damaged is more than RM1000 already. Die.

We went to Pangkor as well on the 19th. It was a lovely trip and Yee Yyn was a dear for tumpang-ing me behind the motorcycle throughout the entire trip without complaining me for weighing a ton.

I lost my purse because I left it in my bag at the sofa at night. Sh**.

October
I only started talking to Joe… it has been almost a year since I last spoke to him because of that stupid incident in Lumut. The Joe that I am referring to is Joe Ling, not Joe Tan, ya.

I started reading Twilight and became a major fan. No, I am not a big fan of the movie and I am not obsessed with Robert Pattinson. Just because he plays Edward, it does not mean that I have to like him. He's even fairer than me. Haha.

But, Twilight's really great, it managed to capture the thoughts of those major teenage crush wonderfully. A perfect book.

November
It was a difficult time for me and my family. I do not feel like saying it directly on my blog. Because of this reason, I bought like 10 books that month to numb my pain. If you are depressed, buy a book, don’t drink. I realised that I am capable of not showing sadness on my face. Plus, I am able to keep a stern/ serious look on my face which looks scary to the extend that many of my so-called relatives do not dare to ask me things.

Anyway, there were a few people who treated me very nicely during this difficult time. Since there are only a number of them, I might as well mention all of them here. I would like to thank:

a)Joe, who met up with me at McDonalds at 1am, that was the craziest thing that I have done

b) Wen Ni, Sham, Queenie, David, Yee Loong, Olivia, Benji, Jo Vyn, Shaynee, Jane, Choon Weng, Fook Kang, Kheng Zie and Ah Wei, who have been very understanding

c) Chern Fei, who is my new friend for playing with me during his semester break

d) Su Lin and Hong Yuan who treated me very nicely when I went over to KL for nearly a week

e) Yee Yyn, who spent plenty of time, money and energy shopping with me and running to Starbucks and Coffee Bean

f) Auntie Fong, Auntie Julia, Auntie Fong and Uncle Edwin who has treated us very nicely

(I may have left out one person or two, but if you do not see your name here, you should know better.)

I look more and more like crap. And I realised a sad truth about one of my best friends. I do not actually like her as a friend. Great… Our personalities and thinking have evolved to the extend that we clash with each other.

I lost my father this month, sh**.

December
I am coping slightly better and working on my next post regarding the sensitive issue. It is extremely difficult to write without wasting a lot of tissue. Stupid Kleenex has been earning plenty of money from us lately.
My mum meet Yee Yyn that day and seems to have liken her. During our trip to KL, I have met Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Abdullah and understand why my father had liked them so much. They are fun and have plenty of things to share.

For Christmas, I bought myself a pair of earrings which… I realised that I do not like when I reached home. Crap.

Christmas at Mid- Valley

I finally managed to see Sham after one and a half year. She has definitely evolved to a very pretty girl that guys would die at the sight of her. Haha.

My mum is finally buying more fashionable things for me. Maybe she will approve of how I dress in KL? Haha, hopefully that day will come soon.

By the way, I am totally hooked on the drama, Cruel Love. See above picture. Kwon Sang Woo's getting better and better in acting, he can cry like.. wow, I also kalah. But seriously, that is a sucky show. There was one episode where the lead actress' father died. Then, two episodes later, the leadactor's father has to die. Fu**. Plenty of tissue used up. Waste tissue only.But really if anyone wants to cry, please watch. Totally dramatic.

It may have been one of the worse year, but still, it has been an interesting year that will always remember.

Hope everyone else is having a better time than I am. Tata and take care. :)

New Jun!

2008-10-30T16:53:00.000+08:00

This is my new blog! Well, actually not. I have actually created this blog for around 4 to 5 months now but I did not do anything to it. Then, I realized the significant and tremendous changes in my life and I thought, “New Life, New Blog” or something like that. My new blog will be more on the things that revolve around my life and on the more general outlook. I will also not go to great extend to narrate my life in great detail. Other than that, I will also try my best to not mention names in my blog.
Since I came to KL around 5 months ago, there have been many changes on Jun, on the inside and also on the outside. On the outside, I have:
learnt how to dress appropriately, or more fashionably than the old days. Maybe a little mature, but I am trying to work on that and hopefully, it would turn out ok next semester
I now wear contacts to university on a daily basis and might die of embarrassment if anyone catches me with my specs
I would never leave home with my concealer. My panda eyes are getting more and more obvious by the day. If I leave home without my concealer and my specs (specs are a great cover since people do not see beyond your specs, I guess), someone might call the Wildlife Hotline and report that a panda is on the loose
learnt how to use my hair curler like a fairy wand, making my hair much more manageable
bought like 3 handbags, 4 pairs of shoes (2 of them are really great, nice high high heels that would be impossible for the old Jun to walk in), 3 sweaters (the climate in KL is really cold, when you are indoors, like the cinema) and a new scarf
begun to keep track of the “in” fashion stuffs
learnt not to raise my voice so much
understood the joy in shopping
learnt not attack people with 101 questions regarding their personal life
learnt that the color “pink” is not the greatest color in the world
started wearing dangly earrings (those kind of earring that are long and well, dangly). There was no way that I could have worn those in the past due to my skin reaction towards anything that is not gold, platinum or silver. In other words, I have become cheap. Haha. Besides, wearing dangly earrings with specs will make you look even more awful, even though you already look awful in the first place
definitely succeeded in shedding the “kampung people look”
On the inside, I have:
become a more considerate person, I guess (or hope)
less selfish
changed my life priorities by 360 degrees, no kidding
more studies oriented (seriously!)
changed into a person who does not care much about gossip (seriously, I do not care)
understood the importance of studying
learnt that the world does not revolves around TV and movies
realized that I am not such a spoilt brat
learnt how to keep my opinions to myself
began to like spending time with myself a lot
learnt how to keep secrets, really!
less close friends now
learnt to be more independent, brave and definitely have no qualms in going in to a place I have never been too alone
to not do last minute work
less friendly (this is the only bad part, I guess)
After my “outside” changes, the world seems to treat me as a person with higher ranking where they treat me nicer and with more patience. If I were to sell my story to Acuvue or something, their sales would definitely increase. But seriously, this is a shallow shallow world. Whoever who tells you that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, they probably told you so because:
they are really pretty on the outside and has no idea what kind of harsh treatment people who are less perfect on the outside are subjected to
they are just trying to console/ distract you from the harsh treatment you are subjected to
they are trying to convince you (and themselves) that the world is a great place
I guess it is pretty safe for me to say that I have been ugly all the way since secondary school and foundation. I still can remember some of the incidents in secondary school, which is like the Dark Age for me. Some of them are:
a) a guy was asking me about why two of my friends are so pretty while I look so… not like them
b) there was a guy who omitted me from his list of pretty girls when he first listed out the names of all the girls
c) there was a girl (who is less better looking than me) who said that all ugly girls should make up. After she learns how to make up, she will definitely do it for me to save people from an eyesore. Cow!
d) this guy that I was crushing told me to my face that he would never like me because of the way I look
I think all these happened in the same week when I was 16. Na, I was not depress, suicidal or anything like that.
Now, it is not like I am pretty; I am just… not ugly. When a guy friend of mine first saw me without my specs, he commented that I look pretty. After spending 4 hours with me, he asked me, “Wait, is it because you are not wearing specs?”. Seriously, this happened around 4 months ago. Girls are more likely to discover underlying threat or rather potentially pretty girls. I talked to a friend of mine and she said that girls will say things like, “ Wow, she will definitely look great without specs” whereas guys will never realize that they are pretty. If you are thinking that guys may realize things like internal beauty, that would be even harder. Harder than looking for a guy that does not watch porn. That friend of mine says that once guys saw you for the first time, they have already made up their minds on how you look. Even if you were to go for cosmetic surgery, they will still assume that you look the same. Unless, one day, you two were to lock eyes or something like that, then, he would go home and wonder if you look pretty. This is even more difficult than rocket science. But, actually, I still look the same. When I saw that friend of mine roughly a month ago, she commented that I look different from the past. Then, when she came to stay over at my place, she saw me with my uncombed hair and my specs, she said that I look like the same old Jun.
Last but not least, my priorities have changed by 360 degrees, these are my priorities in descending roughly five months ago:
gossip
TV
The guy/guys that I am crushing on
Shopping
Studying
Now, it is:
studying
shopping
TV
The guy that I am crushing on
Gossip
I guessed that’s all. It has been a lengthy 3 pages blog for me. I think that I am happier now in my materialistic world with limited friends. Seriously. TAta.